Picking Up the Pieces
by djAngelynn
Summary: For months, Toshiro lived an illusion whilst Karin lived a nightmare. Now freed, they have to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Prologue:<strong>

The icy winds blew harshly, whipping the thin, tattered kimono around his lean body. He breathed in deeply, emptying his mind as he settled into the familiarity of his inner world, feeling the cold, yet comforting physical manifestation of his blade come to rest beside him.

Neither master nor blade said a word, for they hardly ever needed words to communicate now. Both revelled in the familiar presence of the other at the moment. This was their time to connect again before they started their training for the day.

"Master, someone is headed your way." The low rumbling voice of his blade broke the silence, startling him a little, and making him frown. This was an unprecedented break in the schedule that his guards kept, and he could not help but feel a hint of trepidation.

Nodding an acknowledgement and thanks, he quickly withdrew from his inner world.

The first thing he became aware of was the soft clicking sound of the locks disengaging and the heavy metal door swinging open slowly. Alert, not to mention wary and apprehensive – the guards usually had the most annoying habit of announcing their presence by throwing the heavy metal door open with a resounding crash – he quickly rose from his cross-legged position on the mattress and got his back against the wall, muscles tense, ready to fight if necessary, regardless of how futile his previous efforts had proved to be.

Teal eyes narrowed as the two figures stepped into the room, the light from the corridor casting their faces into shadow, making it impossible for him to make out who they were. There was no mistaking, however, the Shinigami Vice-Captain badge tied around the left arm of one of the figures and the distinctive black garb of the Shinigami.

"Toshiro!" The voice of Kurosaki Ichigo was unmistakable, and Hitsugaya found relief flooding through him, and quickly suppressed the feeling, not relaxing his stance in the slightest. He had one too many disasters with illusions to let his guard down now.

"Captain Hitsugaya," Kuchiki Rukia greeted him, before touching the headset she had clipped onto her left ear. "We've found Captain Hitsugaya, I repeat, we have located Captain Hitsugaya. Location: Corridor 10, Sub-Level 3."

Ichigo levelled his gaze on Rukia, and there seemed to be a bout of silent communication before she shook her head slightly.

"Damn," Ichigo cursed, worry and annoyance flashing across his face. Rukia laid a staying hand on his arm, stopping him before he could rush out of the cell and inclined her head towards Hitsugaya, who had yet to respond or move from his defensive position against the wall and was watching them with a guarded expression.

"Captain Hitsugaya?" Rukia's violet gaze probed his cold, impassive teal gaze. "Captain Hitsugaya, do you recognize me?"

Hitsugaya suppressed a flash of irritation. Of course he recognized her. The problem was in figuring out whether she was the genuine article or an illusion. He nodded sharply to her query.

"Captain Hitsugaya," she repeated, her voice low and calm, "we are under the Head-Captain's orders to retrieve you from this dangai pocket dimension and bring you back to the Soul Society. Please stand down and come with us."

Forcing himself not to react to the flicker of hope that had blossomed in his chest, Hitsugaya allowed the glimmer of suspicion to enter into his eyes.

"We don't have time for this, Rukia!" Ichigo hissed fiercely, frustration colouring his tone. He looked ready to bolt from the cell. Quick reflexes honed from years of battle allowed him to dodge the elbow that was aiming a wicked jab to his abdomen.

"We need him to come with us, idiot!"

"Well, I need to find my –"

"Momo." Hitsugaya's voice, deepened and raspy from the lack of use startled both parties out of an imminent explosion of tempers. He had seen these petty arguments before and was not interested in a repeat performance. All that mattered to him was the knowledge of Momo's current status. He met both their gazes levelly and spoke again, forcefully. "Have you found Momo?"

Both of them looked surprised and confused at the question. Hitsugaya frowned inwardly. He had been perfectly coherent, hadn't he? What kind of reaction was that? "Well?" he barked, annoyed at the reaction and lack of answer.

A burst of static from Rukia's headset distracted them before Hitsugaya could get an answer.

"Rukia! We found her. Meet you at the rendezvous point in five."

"Got it. Thanks, Renji. Over and out."

Ichigo visibly sagged in relief and Hitsugaya's stance relaxed a little even as he wondered at the Subtitute Soul Reaper's odd reaction. He did not remember Momo and Ichigo being close enough friends for him to have that sort of reaction. "They've found Momo? How is she?"

"She is doing well, as far as I know," was Rukia's vague answer and Hitsugaya could have snarled at her in frustration. That was not the reassurance he was looking for and the petite Shinigami knew it.

"Take me to her."

Ichigo and Rukia exchanged glances and yet another bout of silent communication that had Hitsugaya gritting his teeth angrily. Only years of acquired self-control prevented him from spitting out a biting retort at their obvious subterfuge.

Finally, Rukia looked at him again and nodded. "If you'll follow us, Captain Hitsugaya, we have your blade waiting for you."

Hitsugaya gave a curt nod and gestured for them to lead the way. He still did not trust them enough to have his back to them, not when they were keeping information from him.

The two Shinigami exchanged glances again, before Ichigo nodded, turned and left the cell, with Rukia following close behind. Satisfied that they had complied with at least that, Hitsugaya straightened and, without a backward glance towards the cell that had been his prison for months, marched out behind them.

They made their way through short, dimly lit corridors, some with doors that had been thrown open, revealing dark chambers, eventually reaching a wide, open space where a Senkaimon was open and waiting.

"Captain Hitsugaya," Abarai Renji greeted, and Hitsugaya could only make out a slight, dark-haired figure cradled in his arms before he turned and entered the open portal.

"After you, Captain Hitsugaya," Rukia said, as Ichigo ignored the both of them and hurried after Renji.

Hitsugaya nodded and once the Hell Butterfly guide fluttered above him, stepped into the Senkaimon, and out into the... brightly lit underground basement of Urahara's Candy Shop? He frowned. Shouldn't they be headed back to the Soul Society? What were they doing at Urahara's?

"Shiro!" an all too familiar voice rang out and then he was holding on to a peach-scented, dark-haired female as she clung to him and wept into his chest.

"Momo?" Stunned, he searched the people gathered in front of the gate for the unconscious girl that he had seen Abarai holding moments before. If Momo was crying in his arms, then who was the girl Abarai had rescued along with him?

A sense of unease creeped up unto him, even as he patted Momo's back in an absentminded gesture of comfort. Abarai was carefully transferring the girl into Ichigo's arms now, and her dark, long hair covered her face, making it impossible to discern her identity. However, Ichigo's gaze was uncharacteristically soft as he looked at her unconscious figure, and Kurosaki Isshin, his father, was now hovering worriedly next to them, with the Vice-Captain of the Fourth Division, Kotetsu Isane, standing over to the side, waiting for them to allow her access to the girl for medical treatment.

Kotetsu finally managed to persuade father and son to make their way to the tent where a makeshift healing bay had been set up and Ichigo carefully lay the girl down on a futon.

Hitsugaya's heart pounded in his ears as he reached a conclusion on the identity of the girl. There was only one dark-haired girl that could make both Isshin and Ichigo worry like that, and as Isshin gently brushed back her dark locks, revealing her face, Hitsugaya felt his heart drop.

For the girl whom he had been incarcerated with, whom he had been forced to commit unspeakable horrors to, was not Hinamori Momo – it was Kurosaki Karin.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1:<strong>

It was almost surreal, Hitsugaya thought, as he stepped into the Soul Society again, behind Kotetsu, Hinamori at his left, with Abaraji and Kuchiki right behind him. He was finally free of that wretched place. He was finally back in the Soul Society.

He sensed Hinamori tense beside him, heard Abarai's hiss of displeasure, and saw the reason once Kotetsu stepped further forward and dropped to one knee, head bowed in respect, Kuchiki, Abarai and Hinamori all following suit. It seemed that the Head Captain, Yamamoto Genryusai Shigekuni, had come personally – and he had brought his entourage with him. The Captains of the Gotei 13 and their Vice-Captains flanked Yamamoto on both sides. He could see Matsumoto Rangiku, his Vice-Captain, shooting him worried glances, her strawberry blonde hair a stark contrast to the black and white uniforms of the gathered Shinigami. She was standing on the tips of her toes and looked ready to bolt over to his side at a moment's notice. He deliberately avoided eye contact with her and hoped she would have enough rationality to stay where she was.

Hitsugaya was not surprised at their presence. He had expected it. After all, according to Kuchiki, the rescue mission had been authorized by Yamamoto himself. _Probably didn't want Kurosaki charging in recklessly again, _he thought, and immediately cut off that train of thought before it led him to memories that he had no intention of visiting just as yet. He turned his attention to the report Vice-Captain Kotetsu was giving Yamamoto instead.

"The rescue mission was a success," Kotetsu was saying, "we located and isolated the dangai pocket dimension they were held in, and Urahara Kisuke managed to open the portal to access it. Both Captain Hitsugaya and Kurosaki Karin were successfully retrieved, and preliminary medical kidou scans show no visible physical injuries to either."

Yamamoto nodded in approval. "Has the reason for their incarceration been found?"

"No, Head Captain," it was Kuchiki who answered his question. "Urahara is working to break the codes on the equipment that was retrieved from the pocket dimension as we speak."

Yamamoto made a non-committal noise, then tapped his cane on the ground once. "I expect a detailed report on the mission by tomorrow. You may rise and join your Captains, Vice-Captains."

As they did as he bade, Yamamoto turned his attention to Hitsugaya, who had been observing the proceedings silently. "Hitsugaya Toshiro. You will be expected to give a full accounting on your disappearance and subsequent incarceration before Central 46 and the Captains of the Gotei 13 tomorrow. We will then decide on the reinstatement of your Shinigami Captain status. In the meantime, you will report to the Fourth Division for a full medical examination." He eyed Hitsugaya, and waited impatiently for an acknowledgement of his orders, frowning when none was forthcoming.

After a moment of silence, that seemed to stretch forever in the eyes of bystanders, Hitsugaya ended what seemed like a silent battle of wills by giving a curt nod.

"I will see you at the Central 46 chambers tomorrow," Yamamoto told him gruffly, before turning and heading in the direction of the First Division barracks. His next comment was so soft, Hitsugaya would not have caught it if he had not been alert to his surroundings.

"Welcome back."

Hitsugaya suppressed a smirk. The old man was a softie at heart, even if he was too stubborn and hard-nosed most of the time.

"Captain!"

Her emotional yell was the only warning he got before Matsumoto flung herself at him causing him to stumble back, almost losing his balance. Silently, Hitsugaya thanked Kami for helping him grow taller so he no longer faced the danger of being smothered by her ample assets.

He gave her a brief, grateful hug, then tried to extract himself from the death grip she had on his person as she babbled and wept tears of joy onto his shoulder.

"That's enough, Rangiku," Eighth Division Captain Kyoraku Shunsui's amused voice chastised as he and Thirteenth Division Captain Ukitake Jushiro came up to them, "let the young man breathe."

Pouting, she finally released him, but remained at his side, fussing and fretting like the mother he never had. He let her; his sudden disappearance probably worried and upset her to more than she would care to admit, and this was just her way of showing it. She may be the worst vice-captain when it came to paperwork, but he would never question her loyalty nor underestimate how much she cared for him.

Hinamori came to stand on his other side, smiling at him, her eyes suspiciously wet, as the remaining captains and vice-captains welcomed him back before taking their leave. He received them stoically, unwilling to let his guard down just yet. Most of his colleagues would have a say in his reinstatement after all, and he did not trust any of their pleasantries for it was just that. There was no telling what their intentions towards him were; he had learnt as much in that tiny cell.

Fourth Division Captain Unohana Retsu approached him last, smiling as serenely as he remembered she was wont to, Kotetsu right on her heels.

"I am very pleased to be able to welcome you back, Captain Hitsugaya. If you'll follow me to the Fourth Division?"

With two short sentences, Captain Unohana had declared her stand on the issue of his captaincy. She still regarded him as her fellow captain, and would continue to give him the respect due to that position. Furthermore, she cared about him and his well-being more than just the captain of the medical division, but as a friend. Hitsugaya felt relief wash over him, for amongst the captains, she was one of the most senior, and her words and opinions held enough weight when she voiced them that even Yamamoto would sit up and listen. He bowed gratefully at her, waiting for her to lead the way before following, Matsumoto and Hinamori trailing worriedly behind him.

The thorough examination of his mental and physical health took only a couple of hours, and told Hitsugaya nothing he did not already know. There was nothing wrong with his physical health; he had been fed well after all, and had conditioned his body the best he could in the tiny area of his cell. It was his mental health that was the issue; he had given Captain Unohana a very short summary of his abduction, but refused to say a word about the incarceration. Even the threat of steel in her tone, which had many a fearless Shinigami quaking in their waraji, was unable to shake his tongue loose.

Finally, sensing that she would not be getting anything further from him, Captain Unohana had issued him a clean bill of his physical health, but warned him that she would still have to clear his mental health before he would be allowed to resume his captain duties. He merely nodded in response, for he had not expected anything less, and accepted the private room she offered him gratefully. With his captain status in limbo, he could not return to his living quarters in the Tenth Division, assuming that they have not already removed his things from there.

Matsumoto and Hinamori left soon after to return to their respective divisions, both women promising to accompany him to the Central 46 chambers the next afternoon. He did not want them to, but hadn't the heart to refuse them when they turned pleading eyes his way, and so grunted an assent. They beamed at him as they took their leave, and his eyes softened a little at their obvious elation.

After a long bath and a change of clean clothes, Hitsugaya lay in bed on his back, staring at the white-washed ceiling of his room. It reminded him of the cell he was locked in for so many months; he had spent ages looking at a similarly white-washed ceiling then, and had memorized the crack patterns of the paint and the light patches of stains that covered it. Back then there was not much to do in the cell, and Momo – no, it was Kurosaki Karin in that cell, he reminded himself again – and _Kurosaki_ had not been particularly big on communicating with him at all. He did not blame her.

Frowning at the thought, he shifted under the covers to rest on his side.

The revelation that the person who had been in the cell with him for the past few months was actually Kurosaki Karin and not Hinamori Momo had thrown him for a loop. He knew that he had been under some kind of illusion during his incarceration, and Hyorinmaru had implied as much, but he still could not be sure where the illusion ended and the reality began. His memories could not be trusted as they were corrupted by illusions, despite the fact that every second in that cell had been seared into his brain.

Now, in the quiet of the night, he could relive and pick apart his memories, but no matter how much he dissected them, illusion and reality still blurred into a confusing mess, leaving him frustrated. The only way to really know was to talk to Kurosaki, and he was not ready to face her just yet.

He could still see her small, frail form cradled in her brother's arms, the slight rise and fall of her chest as she lay unmoving on the futon. Her face was pale and drawn, with dark shadows under her eyes, not at all like the bright and persistent young girl he remembered her to be. By the time he had to return to the Soul Society, she still had not woken. Guilt stabbed at him, and he wondered at her current condition. Was she awake? How was she? Had she spoken of her ordeal yet?

He flinched guiltily and shied away from the thought. It was unlikely that she had; her brother would have already gone bankai on his ass if she did. He still might once Urahara had decoded the information in the equipment from the dangai pocket dimension they were held in.

However, he knew there was no avoiding it. He had to face Kurosaki eventually, not only to apologize to her, even though he knew he could never atone for his sins towards her, but also for his sanity. The confusing mess of memories in his head needed to be sorted out before he drove himself crazy trying to figure it all out. Yes, Hitsugaya decided, he will pay her a visit as soon as he can get permission to go to the Human World. There was no way he was going to avoid her like a coward.

Mind made up, he shut his eyes, pushing his thoughts away, keeping his mind carefully and deliberately blank, and willed sleep to come.

It was a long while before it finally did.

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><p>AN: Many thanks to the wonderful reviewers! 3 I have made a couple of changes to the terms used, because I was confusing myself switching between the Japanese terms and the English dub terms. Now I changed everything to the terms used in the English sub, so it will be less confusing all around.


	3. Chapter 2

****Disclaimer: ****Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2:<strong>

_Six months ago_

Hitsugaya Toshiro flash-stepped into the cave that had served as his training arena for the past few years, making his way by memory as his eyes adjusted to the dark interior. The walls were spattered with stains of ice that had long since melted, and the ground littered with the remnants of boulders that had been disintegrated during previous training sessions. They crunched under his footsteps, the sounds echoing in the vast cavern.

When he reached the cleared space in the middle of a hollowed out area, he took a quick precautionary scan of reiatsu, satisfied when it turned up empty. Training with his bankai was a dangerous up-taking, and any soul unfortunate enough to be caught in the maelstrom that resulted may find their lives in jeopardy.

He drew his zanpakto, willing the scabbard away, and held it in front of him, tip up. Closing his eyes, he entered his inner world, where the cold wind blew furiously and the snow and ice covered land stretched barrenly as far as the eye could see.

"Hyorinmaru."

The zanpakto vanished and in its place, a dragon made of water and ice materialized with a roar, hovering lightly in the air before settling down on the ground with a resounding crash.

"Master," Hyorinmaru's deep rumble greeted him.

Toshiro reached out a hand and gently patted Hyorinmaru on his snout. "You know why I am here. Let us begin."

Hyorinmaru roared an assent, then dissolved and reformed into a sword. Toshiro grasped the hilt, withdrawing from his inner world, and opened his eyes.

"Bankai. Daiguren Hyorinmaru."

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><p>A week later, Toshiro stabbed his zanpakto into the ground for perhaps the thousandth time, watching in satisfaction as ice formed at the point of impact then spread, covering the ground thickly. It was the fastest he had managed to wield this particular attack yet. He glanced back, noting that he was down to his last amethyst petal. Releasing more reiatsu, he twisted his blade, increasing the strength of the attack. Large spikes of ice rose from the sheet that blanketed the ground, glinting dangerously even in the dark cave.<p>

Behind him, the last petal shattered and dissolved into dust.

Immediately, he felt the drain of his reiatsu and the ice wings of his bankai start to crack. He drew a steadying breath, then slowly reined in his reiatsu, halting the disintegration of his bankai. Ignoring the fatigue and reiryoku drain, he spread his reiatsu out again gradually in increments, repairing the ice body of his bankai until it was restored. Once done, he took to the air again, the high, elevated ceiling of the cave allowing him the space to train aerially.

He did a few experimental loops and twists, testing his manoeuvrability, and was pleased when his bankai held without leaving him light-headed. It was usually at this point in his previous training sessions this past week that he would pass out from a combination of over-exertion and reiryoku drain. Finally. He could finally move on to the next stage of his training.

"Ryusenka!"

He barely had time to savour the euphoric feeling of seeing the large ice flower forming where he had stabbed his blade, before his vision blurred, his strength faded and he was falling through the air.

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><p>When he woke, he was lying on the ground, with his zanpakto next to him in its emerald scabbard on one side, and Hyorinmaru watching over him in his humanoid form on the other. He propped himself up, wincing when he felt the injuries sustained during the last week make themselves known. Hyorinmaru reached out immediately and help him to his feet.<p>

"Careful, Master, you have still not rested nor recovered enough."

Toshiro grunted, picking up his zanpakto and strapping it to his back. "How long was I out?"

"About three hours, Master."

He frowned. That was far too long to be out cold from simple over-exhaustion.

"Do not be too hard on yourself, Master. We have progressed further since we started training seven days ago. You have already been pushing yourself far too hard these past few years and your body has been forced through some abnormal growth in order to cope." Disapproval rang clear in Hyorinmaru's tone.

"Hmm," was his only response as he headed out of the cave, his strides slow and slightly unsteady. His body still felt weak, and he seemed to be walking on limbs that had turned to jelly. Hyorinmaru was right; he had not recovered enough to be exerting himself physically in any way. He pushed on stubbornly, wanting to return to the small house nearby, that he had bought shortly after he had begun training at the cave, to rest.

The growth that his body had been forced through was not all bad in his opinion. He no longer looked like a child now, his physical body having matured to resemble that of a teenager. It was much easier for his subordinates and peers to treat him with the deference his rank as a Shinigami Captain warranted now that he looked closer to the part physically, instead of the skepticism and uncertainty that had plagued him when he had resembled a child. What pleased him the most was the growth in height; he was almost as tall as Abarai now, not that it was a competition or anything.

"But the growth is abnormal, Master. It is far too dangerous to have forced your body's growth in order to adapt to the surge in reiryoku that has resulted from our intensive training."

Toshiro bit back a sigh. Sometimes, it was a bother to have a part of your soul manifest itself. Especially when that part had a voice that it was not afraid to use.

It was an understatement to say that Hyorinmaru was not pleased with how hard he had been pushing their limits these past few years, and most especially not after the growth spurt. In fact, Hyorinmaru had, at one point, refused to lend Toshiro his powers until they reached a compromise regarding their training, with Toshiro having had to accede to letting Hyorinmaru set the limits that he would be able to push, so that he would not end up killing himself by accident.

He understood Hyorinmaru's concern, but he was still adamant in his determination to become stronger. Ever since he had run Momo through with Hyorinmaru during the Winter War when Aizen Sosuke, former Fifth Division Captain turned traitor, had him under his zanpakto's ability of complete hypnosis, he had resolved to train harder in order to improve on his abilities so that his actions would not be controlled like that again. Unfortunately, he was limited by his physical body, as it was unable to handle the sheer amount of reiatsu he required to fully utilise his bankai. So, ignoring the cautions from Hyorinmaru, he had deliberately pushed his physical body past its limit when he trained, nearly killing himself several times by the backlash of the overpowering reiatsu he had produced. His physical body struggled to adapt, and was forced to grow in order to survive.

The growth spurt caught the attention of the entire Gotei 13, for it was unusual for captain level shinigami to age, and most certainly not at the rate that he was, their high reiryoku acting almost as a deterrant to the aging process. Yamamoto, for example, seemed not to have aged one bit in the 50 odd years that Toshiro had known him. Questions were asked, of course, during one of the many captains meeting no less, but he had simply glared and told them, as respectfully as he could, to mind their own business. After all, there were more important things to be discussed during captains meetings, like the progress of re-establishing a new Central 46 and the rebuilding of the Seireitei and the Gotei 13. Later, he had stealthly made himself scarce, so skillfully that it would have put Second Division Captain and Onmitsukido Commander-in-Chief, Soi Fon, to shame, in order to evade his colleagues's interrogation. He had no doubt that was exactly the intention of Captain Ukitake, with Twelfth Division Captain, Kurosutchi Mayuri, right behind with a cage to drag him off to his lab for experimentation.

It was dark when he stepped out of the cave alone, Hyorinmaru having returned to their inner world once he was sure that Toshiro had recovered enough to manage the trek back to the small house. He stopped for a moment to orient himself, taking a deep breath of fresh air. He had no idea how long he had spent in the caves training, for no light nor day penetrated the depths of it, and he had only stopped and rested when he had needed to. As he made his way through the dense forest that ringed the mountain housing the cave, he made a mental note to check the actual time and date once he reached the house. Hopefully, he would have some days of his leave left.

A soft whistling sound caught his attention, and he turned in its direction just as a sharp object pierced his right shoulder. He glanced down at the slim dart embedded in his flesh, cursing his carelessness at being caught unawares.

Almost immediately, his body turned numb and his vision blurred. He collasped to the ground with a heavy thud, head spinning, struggling to keep his eyes open. The black hem of a shinigami-issue hakama was the last thing he saw before his eyelids lost the battle and slid shut.

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><p><strong>AN**: Many thanks to the awesome people who reviewed! Reviews = Love.

Happy New Year! Have a fabulous 2012 everyone! =D


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 3:<strong>

The steady beep of the heart monitor was giving her a headache. That was Kurosaki Karin's first thought as she drifted back into consciousness. Someone needed to shut the damn thing off.

She pried open her surprisingly heavy eyelids, only to squeeze them shut again when the bright sunlight streaming into the room pierced her vision. Months spent in the dark and poorly lit cell had made her sensitive to light – and she was quite sure, from the soft, fluffy bed and pillows she was lying on and the fresh, clean smell of her surroundings, that she was most definitely not in that cell.

It seemed like she was not anywhere in the fortress that was her prison for the past few months for that matter – the air smelled fresh for one, not the musky, almost stifling still air that she had been breathing for months, and there was sunlight, which she was not seen ever since she had been incarcerated. Which then begged the question of just where the hell she was, and who had her now, because the last memory she had was of her captor securing an oxygen mask to her face and putting her into some kind of empty tank.

She pushed that memory away. If there was anything she learnt during her incarceration, it was how to compartmentalize. Those memories were for the nightmares that she could not escape, and not the moments awake when she had survival to fight for.

Forcing her eyelids open a crack, she squinted at her surroundings as her eyes tried to adjust to the bright light.

There was an open window to her right, with lightly billowing curtains, letting in sunlight and a slight breeze. A white curtain divider was pulled around her bed, creating a small private space. To her left stood a cabinet of monitors and an IV stand, with two dripping bags which she realised where connected, by tubes and needles, to her left hand.

She frowned. It all seemed oddly familiar somehow, like she had been here before.

Slowly, she sat up, wincing at how weak she was, and the movement caused her head to spin. How long had she been unconscious anyway?

She barely had time to register the familiarity of the set of garments she now wore, when a voice she had only heard in her memories for the last few months rang out and the curtained divider was pushed aside.

"Karin! You're awake!"

She immediately found her rigid body in a tight embrace. Breathing in the missed fruity scent of her twin, Karin sagged into the hug. "Yuzu," she whispered fervently, raising a hand to grip the back of Kurosaki Yuzu's blouse fiercely, and the tears that she had not allowed herself to cry for years finally spilled over.

"Yuzu! Is Karin alright? I heard your voice –" Isshin's voice cut off abruptly as he pulled the curtain divider open roughly and saw his daughters locked in a crying embrace. The look of panic on his face faded, and he smiled through watery eyes at Karin, who had raised her head at his voice and sobbed even harder through mumbles that sounded suspiciously like "stupid goat face".

"Welcome back, Karin," he told her warmly, dropping a warm kiss on her head before backing away, leaving his daughters to their private moment. He needed to tell Ichigo the good news.

Eventually, Karin cried herself out, and sat sniffling in Yuzu's arms, refusing to let her twin go for the moment. They had never been apart for more than days since they were born, and being forced apart for so long had been hard on the both of them, and neither wanted to let the other go just yet.

"How are you feeling, Karin?" Yuzu asked, wiping ineffectively at her tear-stained face.

"Fine. You know me, strong as an ox and all."

Yuzu huffed. The question was rhetorical after all. Anyone could see that, at present, Karin looked like a gust of wind could blow her over. "Karin."

"Alright, a little bit weak," Karin admitted grudgingly. "How long have I been unconscious anyway?"

"Well, just over a day since they brought you back..."

"But?"

"But we have no idea how long they had you under an induced sleep."

Karin frowned. Induced sleep? It made no sense to her since it had seemed that her captors seemed to take pleasure from the torment they wrought to their prisoners. Was that what they did to her when they placed her into that tank?

However, Yuzu was not done talking, and Karin blanched as she caught the tail end of her twin's sentence.

"- baby is doing just fine."

"Baby? What baby?"

"Huh?" Yuzu looked at Karin, surprised. Then her face fell. "You don't know, do you?" she asked, so softly, that Karin had to strain to hear her.

"Know?" Her twin had an expression like a deer caught in headlights – stunned, panicked and fearful.

Yuzu bit her lower lip in worry and indecision. She was not prepared to break the news to Karin, not when her twin was still so frail. There was no telling how Karin would react to it.

"What is it, Yuzu?" Karin pressed, her tone almost pleading.

"Maybe when you've recovered more, Karin," she hedged, trying to avoid answering Karin's questions.

"Tell me," her twin demanded, a stubborn look appearing on her face now.

Yuzu eyed the determined glint in Karin's eyes in trepidation. There would be no avoiding now, she knew. Her twin was like a dog with a bone when she wanted to get to the bottom of something. She would not just let it slide.

"Tell me, Yuzu," Karin repeated, sitting up straighter now.

Yuzu sighed and tried to break it to her twin as gently as she could. "We ran diagnostic tests on you when you came back, Karin. Physically, you are fine, if a little malnourished and weak, but..." she trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

"But?" Karin dragged the word out, impatiently commanding Yuzu to continue.

"We ran a pregnancy test, and..."

"I'm pregnant aren't I?" Karin's face fell and her voice was no more than a whisper.

Yuzu hesitated, then nodded once. "I'm sorry, Karin."

Numbly, Karin shook her head as tears began to fall again and she burrowed into Yuzu's embrace.

"Oh, Karin," Yuzu murmured sadly, as she stroked soothing circles on her twin's back.

The curtained divider drew back again; their father had returned, and with him was their tall, orange-haired older brother, whose relief at the news that his sister was awake was quickly replaced by worry when he saw her crying in Yuzu's arms.

"Hello, big brother." Yuzu greeted.

"Yuzu, Karin." He approached the bed and sat down gingerly next to the twins, whilst Isshin stood to the side of the bed, his expression soft as he gazed down at all of his children.

"Big brother?" Karin looked up with tear-filled eyes, before turning away from Yuzu and latching onto him, crying into his shirt instead.

Ichigo patted her somewhat awkwardly on the head as he looked over her dark head to Yuzu helplessly. Karin had not called him 'big brother' for years, not since their mother had died. For her to be addressing him as such meant that she was in a very vulnerable state. Silently, he swore revenge on the sick bastard that had caused his baby sister so much pain.

"She didn't know she was pregnant," Yuzu answered the unspoken question, trying to fight back more tears, her heart breaking as she watched her twin weep.

"Oh, Karin," Isshin murmured, stroking her hair gently as she continued to sob into Ichigo's now ruined shirt. "Everything will be alright, you'll see. You're home now. You're home with us now."

Unable to help herself, Karin wept harder into the strong and comforting embrace of her older brother at her father's words. It did not matter to her that she had been reduced into a pathetic, weeping mess. Later, she would blame it all on pregnancy hormones. Now, surrounded by the warmth, love and concern of her family, she could cry. And cry she did. For the tears she had refused to shed, for the innocence she had lost, for the hope she had thought gone, for the faith that she had held on to, and most of all, for the innocent life in her womb that had been conceived from a nightmare.

Eventually, Karin's tears slowed and, worn out by her emotions and her recent incarceration, she drifted off to sleep, content in the knowledge that she was finally home with her family again, however dysfunctional they are. She only prayed that this was not a cruel illusion or dream that would dispel once she woke.

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you lovely reviewers! You guys have my muse working on overdrive. LOL.


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: <strong>

_Six months ago_

Karin Kurosaki listened with half an ear as her twin prattled on about school as they made their way home, suppressing the urge to rub at her temples, where already she could feel the tension of the oncoming headache manifest – a warning sign that one of those monsters, hollows, as she had learned they were called - was nearby and wrecking havoc.

She frowned, slipping her right hand into her sling bag and fingering the device that Urahara had given her to destroy the lower level hollows. It would be best to get Yuzu out of harm's way before she did anything. Even if she had mastered the basic kidou that she had threatened and conned Urahara into teaching her, and honed her hand-to-hand combat skills under Tatsuki's tutelage, she still got hurt often fighting these hollows and had quickly learned how to identify which ones she could take down, and which ones she had to avoid.

It was not like she went about actively seeking these hollows anyway. They just were attracted to her like bees to honey because of her high reiatsu. She had learnt how to mask it better from Urahara, but apparently, she was only slightly better at it than Ichigo, whom, she had learnt, had no control whatsoever over his reiatsu. Of course, she would not have had to go through all that trouble if the crappy shinigami assigned to their town would do his job properly in the first place. He was so slow, especially when it came to hollow slaying, that Karin often wondered how he had managed to become a Shinigami. Don't they have Shinigami boot camp that taught stuff like this? Didn't he have a device that notified him when hollows appeared or something? She was usually reminded of these questions after she had taken care of the hollow that had appeared. Unfortunately, there was no one to answer these burning questions, except Urahara, who had only smirked and slickly sidestepped her question.

She was baffled, in any case, that they had not assigned a more competent Shinigami to Karakura. Had they not learnt by now that with so many high reiatsu people around, Karakura was like living hollow bait? How did they expect the town to be protected by such an incompetent Shinigami? No wonder Ichigo was running off to slay hollows half the time when he was around. Someone had to take care of those monsters.

Her head was pounding now, and a distant roar told her that the hollow had drawn closer to where they were. Thankfully, it seemed that the hollow was in the opposite direction of their route home and seemed to be one of the manageable ones. Nevertheless, it was still too close to both their home and school for her to ignore.

She sighed inwardly; she hated when she had to lie to her twin. _It's to protect her, _she reminded herself, _to protect her. _Deliberately turning away from her twin so she would not have to meet her gaze, Karin blurted out the first excuse that came to mind, "Hey, Yuzu, I think I forgot an assignment back in the classroom. You go on home first."

"Huh? But, Karin!" Yuzu protested, as her twin did an abrupt turn and raced away in the direction of the high school.

Yuzu huffed in annoyance, but did as her twin bade, continuing on her way home. She knew that Karin had not left anything back in the classroom. If she believed her twin every time she said she had forgotten something, then Karin would have the worst memory she had ever known. No, Karin had gone to fight one of those monsters.

She had been doing so for nearly four years now, and as her twin and the one person closest to Karin, Yuzu had caught on quickly. It was inevitable, for Karin had never been a very good liar, and especially not to her. The excuses Karin gave were not at all inventive and, in the last year, had whittled down to forgetting to do something or forgetting she had to meet someone. Yuzu had never caught Karin out in her lies, and allowed her twin to continue believing that she knew nothing, but it was getting harder to bite her protests down every time Karin ran off to fight one of those monsters. She knew how dangerous it could be, for more often than not, Karin would come home bruised and bloodied, with cuts and scrapes, which she then tried to hide from her twin, and Yuzu worried incessantly for her twin's safety.

"I'm home!" Yuzu called, pushing open the front door.

"Ah, my sweet daughter is home?" Her father cried as he bounded out of the clinic, still in his medical doctor coat, and wrapped Yuzu in a hug. "How was school today? And where is my darling Karin?"

"Karin forgot something in school, Daddy." There was a flash of understanding and worry in her father's eyes, and Yuzu held back a frown of irritation. His protective instincts were kicking in again, which means he was not going to tell her anything, pretend to believe that lie and then try to distract her.

"Oh-ho! Let's not wait for her then! Please get changed, my dear Yuzu! Daddy needs your help in the clinic. There are patients waiting!" With that, he disappeared into the clinic again.

Yuzu sighed. Nail on the head.

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><p>The hollow was laughing sinisterly when Karin finally reached the small alleyway, and the Shinigami who was supposed to be in charge of slaying the hollows in Karakura Town was nowhere to be seen. A spirit cowered in fear on the ground in front of the hollow, as it opened its jaws wide, ready to devour him.<p>

"Hey, ugly!" Karin yelled, throwing a rock at it, effectively distracting it from its meal and turning its attention to her. Quickly, she raised the kido blaster and aimed a powerful shot at the hollow's mask. Urahara had told her it was the best and quickest way to get rid of the hollow.

However, instead of dissipating when the blast found its mark, the hollow howled and stomped about in agony, nearly squashing the spirit, who was now staring at it in abject fear, and not making the slightest effort to get out of harm's way.

Karin scowled, annoyed. Why these spirits cower instead of running away from the hollow is beyond her. Where was their self-preservation instinct? "Move it!" She snapped at the spirit, before getting off another shot. This time, she infused a little of her reiatsu into the kido ball and the impact caused the hollow's mask to crack and it dissipated with an angry cry.

Glad that this was just a low-level hollow, Karin pocketed the kido-gun and turned toward the still cowering spirit. "Beat it, idiot. Or another one's gonna come back and get you."

The spirit gave a last frightened whimper and vanished.

"Well, that was entertaining."

Karin tensed, her senses alert, trying to pinpoint the source of the disembodied voice. Was it another hollow? She could not feel its reiatsu at all. "Who are you? Show yourself!"

"Heh. He was right. You _are_ perfect." The gleeful tone of the voice sent shivers down her spine and she fought back a shudder.

"Show yourself!" She repeated forcefully, shoving the surge of fear back.

Silence greeted her statement.

Slowly, she backed away from the alley, towards the main street, her stance ready should she be attacked. Her surroundings were quiet, a little _too_ quiet, and the only sounds were the soft tread of her sneakered feet on the concrete ground and the rapid pounding of her racing heart.

Karin was two steps to the main street when a portal opened up in front of her, a swirling, dark void, and sent her recoiling back in shock.

"No," the voice purred silkily, answering her question from before, just a breath from her right ear, and then a forceful push sent her stumbling into the dark portal.

Her startled gasp was cut off abruptly as the portal closed behind her.

Back at the Kurosaki Clinic, Isshin felt the reiryoku of his daughter disappear suddenly. He started, a sliver of fear and apprehension running through him, and immediately reached for the phone. Urahara had to know about this.

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><p><strong>AN: **Much love to my amazing reviewers. Most of you guessed the identity of the father of Karin's baby right, and were all ready to castigate me for being so cruel. I'm sorry, please forgive me! Most of the story has already been planned and I am loathe to change anything now. I must warn you that it will only get worse before it gets better, so please do bear with me in the meantime!


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Gently, so as not to disturb her, Ichigo lay Karin out on the bed and Isshin tucked the blankets around her slumbering figure.

The men settled into white, plastic chairs at the foot of her bed, while Yuzu retreated to her sanctuary, the kitchen, to prepare dinner for her family.

"I'll have to send word to the Soul Society. Rukia and the rest will want to know that Karin has woken," Ichigo spoke, his voice low and soft, careful not to rouse his sister from her sleep.

Isshin nodded. "And the pregnancy?"

"I told Isane not to breathe a word about it, even to Captain Unohana."

"And Captain Hitsugaya?"

"What about him?"

"He should know about this."

"No." His tone was flat and brooked no argument.

"Ichigo." There was a hint of weariness and warning in Isshin's voice. They had had this conversation before.

Ichigo's jaw clenched stubbornly. "He should have protected her! Not knocked her up!"

"Son, we still don't know what happened during their captivity. We shouldn't rush to assume things."

"He doesn't even know that it was Karin who was locked up with him!" Ichigo spat angrily. "Who's to say he knew what was going on at all?"

"Urahara is decoding the information in their computers right now, and Captain Hitsugaya will be facing an inquisition from Central 46. We'll know what had happened to both of them soon enough. All we know for certain at this point, was that Captain Hitsugaya was under some sort of illusion. However, since he has yet to divulge anything at this point, and Captain Unohana insists on allowing him time to recuperate, we can't learn anything from him. Not until he is willing to speak in any case."

Ichigo snorted in disbelief.

Isshin sighed, not taking his gaze off his dark-haired daughter as she slept on. It was unlikely that they would learn anything from Karin as well. His baby girl preferred to keep everything to herself, and he always worried about her because of it.

He had deliberately put on the act of a goofy loon in front of his children to keep their spirits up after their mother passed, but he always amped it up in front of Karin because she would always take the bait and react to it. He fancied it to be a stress reliever of sorts for her. Karin never seemed to take it for more than its face value, but he sometimes wondered if she knew more than she was letting on, in more ways than one.

He knew of her hollow fighting, for even Urahara could not teach her how to hide her reiatsu when she fought, and even though he always kept a watchful, albeit metaphorical, eye on her reiryoku at all times, he had never broached the subject with her, just like he hadn't with her brother when he had become a Shinigami. Besides, it was unlikely that she would admit to it even if he did. That was provided, of course, that she did not whack him senseless for keeping his real identity from them first. His spitfire of a little girl was aggressive like that.

A whimper from Karin broke the silence, sending both men out of their chairs and over to her bedside.

Karin whimpered again, her face drawn into an expression of pain, and tossed around restlessly on the bed.

Isshin's heart broke a little again at the sight. He, her own father, had not been able to protect his baby and she had suffered for it. His baby girl, his strong fighter of a baby girl, was hurt and crying through nightmares because he, the useless father that he was, had not been able to find her. Pulling himself together, he lowered himself onto the bed and drew Karin's now softly sobbing figure into his arms, murmuring incoherent words meant to calm and soothe, whilst Ichigo looked on worriedly. Slowly, her crying eased and her thrashing stopped, and she clung to her father even as she slid back into slumber.

Settling himself more comfortably on the bed, he adjusted Karin's grip a little before glancing at his son. "Go check on Yuzu and make that call to the Soul Society. We'll decide on the issue of her pregnancy later."

Ichigo frowned, but let his father's comments go for the moment. He had absolutely no intention of letting anyone else in the Soul Society know about Karin's pregnancy, and most especially not Toshiro. Guy was lucky he hadn't already Bankai-ed his ass. With a last glance at Karin, he headed into the house to find Yuzu.

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><p>Yuzu stirred the simmering soup slowly, glad to have something to distract her from the depressing thoughts of her twin. She was glad that Karin was finally back, of course, but her twin had obviously been through an ordeal, and no one would tell her what had happened. It exasperated her endlessly how her entire family could think that they were protecting her by keeping things from her.<p>

She knew that all of them could see souls, including her father, even if he acted like he could not. It helped to be as observant as she was sometimes, even if she did allow them to think that she was as clueless as they wanted her to be. In their over-protective way, her family had the bad habit of keeping things from her, especially shinigami-related stuff. She could faintly make out these souls now herself, but never as clearly as she knew the rest of her family could. However, she pretended she could not see them to set their minds at ease.

Karin was the strong twin, and as long as she remembered, never allowed herself to cry knowingly, no matter how much pain she was in. She knew why, even if they never talked about it, and Yuzu cried enough for the both of them. Sometimes, she thought she cried so easily _because _she was crying the tears her twin refused to shed. To see Karin's tears broke Yuzu's heart, because it only served to highlight just how very vulnerable her twin was at the moment, to have been rescued from captivity, only to find herself pregnant.

She wondered at the identity of the father whose baby Karin was now carrying. Karin had been stunned when told that she was pregnant, but had not said anything about it except to cry. She did not seem upset, per se, just overwhelmed. Yuzu had her suspicions of course, having heard that the young, white-haired Shinigami Captain who had stayed at their house before was rescued along with her twin, but with no one saying anything to her, she was unable to get any kind of confirmation. No matter, she had ways of finding out about these things eventually. It helped tremendously that Hanakari Jinta, the boy living at the Urahara Shoten, was very sweet on her, and more often than not, the unintentional provider of the information she seeked.

"Yuzu, how are you doing?"

Ichigo's soft voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked up at him, surprised. He had never been one for heart-to-hearts. Even now, he looked uncomfortable, standing on the other side of the kitchen counter, hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans, trying to appear nonchalant and failing miserably. The worry in his eyes still lingered and immediately her thoughts went to her twin.

"I'm fine, big brother. Lunch will be ready in a bit. How is Karin?" Yuzu pierced him with a sharp look when he hesitated. "Please don't hide anything about Karin's condition from me."

Ichigo sighed, reaching up to scratch his hair awkwardly. "She had a nightmare, but she's fine now. Dad's looking after her."

"Okay." Slightly mollified by his response, Yuzu turned off the fire, and began preparing four trays of food, giving the first the Ichigo. "I expect you'll want to eat by Karin's bedside. I'll bring Daddy's tray over in a bit."

"Thanks, Yuzu." Ichigo's lips quirked up in what she supposed was a hint of a smile. "I'll come back for Dad's tray, and you can bring yours along, alright?"

Her eyes welled up with tears again. Wiping at them with the edge of her apron, she beamed at Ichigo and nodded.

Their little family was back together again, and that, to Yuzu, was all that mattered. They could get through anything together.

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><p><strong>AN: **Finally submitted the last of my assignments for this semester this morning! I'm free! =D ... Until I've gotta hunker down to mug for the exams anyways. =/

As usual, thank you to my lovely, lovely reviewers! You guys have been amazingly patient with me, so thank you very, very much!


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

**A/N: **Sensitive material in this chapter, so please read with caution.

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

_Six Months Ago_

Karin awoke to a room in shadows.

She winced, feeling a dull throbbing at her wrists and ankles, where the effects of fighting the metal restraints that the Crazy Scientist had put her in once they were in his lab, were making themselves known. She had not been about to be dissected like some kind of lab rat without a fight, so she had struck with everything she had got. Crazy Scientist didn't take too kindly to that, especially after she had knocked his glasses askew and almost taken his eye out in the process. She would have added in a few more hits to the groin area, not caring at all if she was fighting dirty, but he had jabbed her viciously in the arm with some kind of sedative, and it was lights out for her after that.

Annoyed at herself, she tried to pull herself into a sitting position, and was alarmed to realize that her limbs would not respond to her. In fact, aside from her blinking eyelids, and the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, the rest of her body was not responding to the signals her brain was sending to it at all.

It did not seem to be a total paralysis, since she could still feel - the pain in her wrists and ankles, and the rough material of the sheets she lay on - but she could not move a single muscle. She tried to speak, to growl in anger or scream in frustration, and was furious when even her throat muscles refused to work. All that can be heard was a weak gurgle.

The Crazy Scientist, she seethed, the bastard must have done something to her. He was so dead when she got her hands on him.

Then again, that was probably why he had her in this state in the first place. Helpless as a newborn. _Fucking coward_, she cursed.

Already she could feel the crick forming at the back of her neck, and she wondered how long she would have to remain like this, sprawled haphazardly on the tiny single mattress, head turned to the side. The only thing she could see was the endless darkness, and if she strained a little, the faint glow of reddish light illuminating the white ceiling. Between failed attempts to get her body to move and glaring into the darkness, it did not take very long for Karin to be bored out of her mind, and boiling with frustration.

Fuck it. She was going to take him apart, piece by piece, starting with his ugly looking _pink-_framed glasses, before she killed him.

A low, pained groan alerted her to another's presence in the room, and snapped her out of bloodthirsty thoughts that involved feeding the Crazy Scientist to creepy bugs. Really huge, creepy bugs.

She tried to turn her head towards the source of the sound, and could have facepalmed when she remained as she was. Of course she would be facing away from potential dangers, she grouched. _W__onderful_.

The unknown entity approached her, and she could hear the shuffling of unsteady footsteps, stumbling and stopping, and the gasps and pants of heavy breathing. It felt so ominous, and got her back up, especially when she still could not discern his or her identity.

Then the person clambered up onto the bed, and straddled her, and her mind froze in shock as he - she knew for sure now that he was male, for the hard erection pressing into her right thigh could not be mistaken as belonging to anything but a male - pulled at her clothes, and out of the corner of her eye, she could make out a head of light hair, broad shoulders, and a face hidden by the shadows.

Quickly, she snapped herself out of her shock, as worry and a slight panic took over, and she strained and willed her limbs to move, her throat to work so she could stop him, stop him before he stripped her bare. Fear washed over her as he ripped her school blouse open and her sports bra apart like it was paper before pushing up her school skirt and yanking her underwear aside.

_This is not happening_, she thought, desperately trying to keep a cool and clear head, as a voice inside screamed in terror and panic and she remained helpless beneath his rough grip, unable to move.

What made it worse was how the darkness hindered her sight, but heightened all her other senses, and every touch, every sound seemed to be amplified drastically.

She could feel his cool hands on her bare skin now, touching her, groping her; she could hear his breathing, heavier now, and harsher, right at her ear. He shifted lower as she screamed and yelled in her mind, fighting to move even an inch, to do anything to stop him. But the paralysis held her trapped, and she could only watch, hear and feel as he spread her legs and settled between them, his erection pressing against her centre like a crude, cruel taunt at what was to come.

It felt like some kind of twisted, horrible nightmare, only it was real, and she was trapped in her body, in her mind, and she felt like she could be sick.

She could hear her weak whimpers as she tried desperately to speak, to plead with him to stop. She could hear his harsh breaths in her ear, over the roaring in her ears and the violent thudding of her heart, feel his hot breath on her skin. And still she could not move, could not speak.

Then his shifted again, and it felt like she was being split open as he rammed into her dry, small passage. She had known that there would have been pain the first time, of course, for she had worked in a clinic, and aced her biology, but she had never imagined it to be this excruciating agony. Tears of pain welled and fell, unbidden, from her eyes, and she managed a gasp as he drew back slightly and thrust again, and again.

She could see him, out of the corner of her eye, straining over her, hands braced either side of her head; she could feel his skin against hers, feel her blood flowing from her torn flesh, lubricating her and easing his way as he continued to move in and out of her; she could feel the rough sheets brunching under her back, as his rough thrusting jerked her limp body back and forth underneath him; she could feel his sweat on both their skins as he worked himself into a frenzy; she could feel the agonizing pain where he stabbed repeatedly into her.

There was nothing else she could do in this living nightmare that she had been shoved into. She could only feel, and see and hear, all the while helpless to fight back, to voice a single word. She stared into the dark, darkness, unseeing, eyes wet with unbidden tears, willing herself away from this nightmare, trying to escape into her own mind, to block this - block him - out.

She failed miserably.

Time seemed to slow down as she lay beneath him, beneath this unknown man who was violating her, trapped in the prison of her paralysis. After what seemed like an eternity, she felt him give a final violent thrust, and he shuddered, spilling his seed into her. He stilled, breathing harshly at his exertions, before he slumped and slid halfway off her, collapsing on the bed face first.

Pinned to the bed by his weight, she was forced to remain as she was.

She could feel him softening inside her, feel the sticky, liquid mixture of her blood and his seed trickle out of her to pool on the messy sheets. She could feel his muscles go lax, hear his breathing even out as he fell asleep. And still, she could not move.

She had no idea how long she lay there, staring into the darkness, too stunned, pained, and terrified to close her eyes, afraid of what the unknown man will do to her when he woke, afraid of the power he had over her as the paralysis rendered her useless. Her mind's eye seemed like a broken tape recorder, and even though she tried to think of something, _anything_, that could distract her from the present, she found herself reliving the ordeal again, and again, and again in her mind. No matter how much she tried, she just could not escape those memories.

Her attacker slept on beside her, unaware of the damage he had wrought.

Much, much later, long after the blood and semen had coagulated and dried, after the sweat had dried from their bodies, still trapped underneath the unknown man, Karin lost her battle with exhaustion. Her eyelids fluttered shut and, reluctantly, she allowed the darkness to claim her.

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><p><strong>AN: **A big thank you to everyone who reviewed! =) I hope this chapter wasn't too graphic. I really tried to focus more on Karin's emotions and reactions, instead of the act itself. I hope I didn't offend anyone with the subject matter, but if I did, I sincerely apologize.


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

Forty wise men. Six judges. Together they formed the highest authority in the Soul Society – Central 46.

The first time Hitsugaya had encountered Central 46 was during the fiasco with Kusaka Sojiro, when they had been forced to duel for the right to wield Hyorinmaru, and his victory had led to the needless execution of a friend who had eventually returned for revenge.

He had only been six months into his first, and only, year at the Shino Academy.

The last time he had entered the Underground Assembly Hall, he had found a massacre – the resulting carnage of Aizen's sadistic ruthlessness. He could still see the river of blood, smell the decay of death of that day.

Needless to say, his experiences with Central 46 have never been particularly pleasant. He was not expecting this time to be any different.

He had no idea what to expect from the new Central 46, for they had assumed their duties in the period of time of his incarceration. Their predecessors had been rigid, and almost overzealous in their judgements and trials, but the new incarnation already seemed a little less so. For one, the previous Central 46 would never have held a trial without all evidence at hand, and for another, they would never have allowed him the chance to explain and account for his disappearance and subsequent incarceration.

But as he stood under the glaring spotlight in the middle of the Underground Assembly Hall of the Central 46 Compound, Hitsugaya could not help but feel a sense of déjà vu. He could still remember how he had stood at the very same spot as a terrified academy student, watching helplessly as the Omnitsukido dragged Kusaka out to be executed. _You are not helpless now_, Hitsugaya reminded himself, careful not to lose his impassive mask as he looked straight ahead into the darkness. Only the clenched fists at his side gave any indication to his tenseness.

The set-up of the Underground Assembly Hall was meant to intimidate. From the cold, hard wooden interrogation floor with the glaring overhead light, to the high benches that circled it in ascending, concentric rows. Rectangular wooden screens with numbers one through forty-six were placed at regular intervals, hiding the identities of the members once they were seated. The room was deliberately dimmed, save for the lone light beating down on the interrogation floor; the idea was simple – focus the attention on the accused, and allow them to feel the vulnerability of having the spotlight shine on them and their crimes.

It was a very effective method – Hitsugaya could readily attest to that.

Unconsciously, his jaw firmed, and he lifted his chin just a little bit higher as he waited for Central 46 to address him. The silence that hung in the air seemed almost stifling at this point.

"Are you Hitsugaya Toshiro, formerly Tenth Division Captain of the Gotei 13?" a deep voice spoke from among the council members, the sound reverberating around the chamber, so much so that Hitsugaya could not tell where it was coming from.

"Yes," Hitsugaya answered, pleased when his voice came out calm and steady, without a hint of the apprehension he was feeling inside.

"Hitsugaya Toshiro," the same voice continued, "you have been summoned here today to give an accounting of your disappearance from the Soul Society and to be given an evaluation to your competency to resume your duties as an active shinigami, and more importantly, as a Captain of the Gotei 13.

"We will begin with your disappearance. We have been informed by the Head Captain that your disappearance was in fact, an abduction by persons unknown, and the subsequent incarceration prevented you from returning to the Soul Society for a period of six months. Is this true?"

"Yes," Hitsugaya acknowledged, suppressing a frown. Although the rest of the council members remained silent, he could still feel their scepticism and censure. After all, how could a Captain of the Gotei 13 be captured and held so easily?

The next person who spoke, a lady with a harsh tone of voice, phrased the question more bluntly. "Explain to us how it was possible for a captain-level shinigami to be defeated, captured and held for a length of time, Hitsugaya. You may begin."

In a tone as calm and even as he could possibly manage, Hitsugaya related a highly edited version of his abduction. He began with his training to strengthen his bankai in the caverns, and recounted being caught off guard by a treated dart due to exhaustion, waking up in a room made of sekkiseki, being locked up with Kurosaki, his numerous failed attempts at escape, and finally, being rescued by the team Yamamoto had authorized.

"Do you not know who is behind this?" Someone else barked down at him.

Hitsugaya bit back an irritated retort. He had already made it clear in his report that he had never seen the mastermind, just heard the distorted sound of his voice. He forced out a curt, "No."

"Are you absolutely sure?" the same person pressed, clearly disbelieving.

"Yes," Hitsugaya ground out, trying not to let his annoyance show.

"Captain Unohana of the Fourth Division has presented us with a report of the results of your medical examination. In here, she states that although there is nothing wrong with your physical health, she is unable to reach a conclusion regarding your mental health, as you refused to give the details of your incarceration. Explain to us why it is so," yet another person spoke, a male with a deep commanding voice.

"With all due respect, I am still not ready to talk about the details of my incarceration. There are events that I have yet to come to terms with, and furthermore, much of them involved Kurosaki Karin, who, as I understand, has yet to wake from her induced coma. I feel it is best that I speak with her before disclosing to anyone the horrors that we have lived in that cell." Hitsugaya's tone was firm and unyielding, but his heart pounded in his chest as he braced himself for the inevitable explosion.

There was a moment of silence - shock at his defiance, Hitsugaya guessed – before the chamber filled with outraged buzzing from the council members.

"Do not be insolent, boy!" a harsh male voice shouted, annoyance colouring his tone. "We require all facts to be presented before we are able to pass a verdict!"

Hiding his annoyance at being called a boy, Hitsugaya raised his chin a notch and steeled his nerves. "I never said that I will not disclose those details. I just require a little time before I am ready to."

The buzzing settled down to murmurings and light rustling of papers; there was a loud bang of a mallet hitting the table. "We will now deliver our verdict!"

_That was fast,_ Hitsugaya couldn't help but think wryly.

"Hitsugaya Toshiro," the very first voice spoke again, "We have judged your explanation of your disappearance to be plausible and will accept it at face value at this moment. The details of your incarceration will be further investigated by the Onmitsukido pending the report from the Twelfth Division. As there is no indication of physical weakness on your part, you are allowed to resume Shinigami duties. On the recommendation of the Captains of the Gotei 13, we will allow you to resume the post of Captain of the Tenth Division as well. In addition, you will report to the Fourth Division once a week for an assessment on your mental health until such a time when Captain Unohana is able to present us with a comprehensive report on your mental health and clear you permanently for your duties. You will be placed under probation until the time we are presented with all the details of your incarceration, or you should choose to come forth with those details. We will then deliberate further to make a final decision.

"Your zanpakuto, Hyorinmaru, will be released back into your custody, but you will be required to wear a power limiter during the span of your probation period. The Head Captain will be given the authority to remove the limiter should there be a need for you to battle at full strength, with the condition that it be replaced immediately after your mission has been completed.

The decision of Central 46 is final and no appeals are allowed to be made. You are dismissed."

With that, the mallet hit the table once more, and two members of the Onmitsukido appeared to usher him out of the Central 46 Compound. He gave a short nod to the council members to recognize their leniency in their verdict, and strode out of the Underground Assembly Hall.

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><p><strong>AN:** Many thanks to everyone who reviewed! 3 Special thanks to Dangel for that lovely review you sent. It provided a timely push for the completion of this chapter, so thank you!

I'm so sorry it took me so long to update this story! There are 2 reasons for this: 1) I was busy with school - meeting deadlines, and mugging for my exams, so writing fell to the sidelines. 2) I had a lot of trouble with getting this chapter out, because I struggled with getting the tone of the interaction between Hitsugaya and Central 46 right. I'm still not happy with this chapter, but it's as close to acceptable as it is going to get at the moment. I will probably revise and repost it after the story is done.

One last note: This is a promise to my readers and/or reviewers. I will not leave this story uncompleted. It may take me forever (hopefully, it won't), and I may sometimes go for long periods without updating, but I promise you I will always finish my stories. I hate it when a story is unfinished, especially when it is really good, so I will never do the same to my readers. A big thank you to everyone who has supported/read/reviewed this story thus far. I really appreciate it. Cheers! =)


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

_Six Months Ago_

Toshiro was simultaneously aware of three things as he regained consciousness. The first - his head was pounding mercilessly, the second - the bed he was sprawled face down on was definitely not his own, and the third – there was someone else in bed with him.

He pushed himself upright, and let out a low groan when the movement made his head pound harder. Dimly, he noted the coarse sheets beneath his palms, and the feel of warm limbs pressing against his own naked skin.

Naked?

His eyes shot open in shock, taking no more than seconds to adjust to the shadowed room, and even less to process the sight they met. Immediately, he lurched away from the girl – the very naked girl – he had been pressed to, stumbling and almost hitting the opposite wall along with the large, heavy wooden bucket that had been placed there, in his haste.

The girl whimpered softly at his sudden movement, shifting and bringing her thighs closer together, but did not wake.

He stared, wide-eyed, at the shadowed outline of the girl on the bed, ignoring the pounding of his head and his shock, to wade through his muddled memories to comprehend how he had ended up almost naked and in bed with a girl.

His last memory was of training, heading back to his house, then being hit by a dart – damn his carelessness – and losing consciousness. Beyond that was a blank. How he had ended up in this room, in that bed, and on top of a naked girl was surely the doing of whoever managed to knock him out.

The perpetrator was going to be ice dust when Hyorinmaru was done with him.

It was then he realized that Hyorinmaru was not strapped to his back, nor could Toshiro feel him anywhere nearby. In fact, he could not sense any reiatsu or reiryoku at all, not even his own. He frowned. It was decidedly odd. The first thing he had mastered during his shinigami training was the control of his reiatsu, and had always been able to feel his own as he needed to be in full control of it at all times or risk harming those around him.

The only thing he knew that could shut reiatsu out like this was sekkiseki, and as far as he knew, it was rare enough that the Gotei 13 had trouble trying to replace it after the last war destroyed enough of the outer walls of the Seireitei to cause a shortage. It seemed almost impossible for the perpetrator to have enough of it to construct a room.

His eyes darted to the girl on the bed again, and he quickly put away the thought away for further analysis later. There were more pressing matters at hand – like the fact that he could smell the metallic tang of fresh blood, and his genitals and thighs were coated in a sticky-like substance.

He had a terrible suspicion as to what the substance was, and his heart filled with fear. Praying fervently to Kami that his suspicions were wrong, he scooped a bit of it with his fingers and gingerly sniffed. His heart plummeted. It was as he had feared – the substance was a mixture of coagulated blood and semen.

For a fleeting second, the thought that the blood may belong to him cross his mind, but it was gone just as fast, for a quick check of his body revealed no recently open wounds.

He collapsed in a heap onto the floor, staring at the sample staining his fingers in horror, and his racing thoughts ground to a halt as it reached the only possible conclusion – that he had raped that girl on the bed. He could feel the bile rise up in his throat and he thought he was going to be violently sick. It did not matter that he had no recollection of any of it. The blood – her blood – on his skin was proof enough.

He glanced over at the unconscious girl again, guilt wrapping around him like a vice, so tight it almost strangled him. With great difficulty, he pulled himself together and stood, the long tails of the shitagi he was clad in falling to mid-thigh once again, covering his shame. This was not the time to be falling apart; if the smell of fresh blood was any indication, the girl would likely be in a terrible state and he had to tend to her first.

There would be plenty of time for self-recriminations later.

He strained his eyes in the dark, searching for the heavy bucket he had almost upset before, and spotted its shadowed bulk to his right almost immediately. Feeling around its edges, he was gratified to find a tattered piece of cloth and, when he dipped his fingers in, the bucket half-full with cold water, a large wooden bowl bobbing around on the surface.

He retrieved a bowlful of water, and placed it carefully on the floor. Wetting the cloth, he wrung it dry, before silently approached the girl again. She did not stir.

Carefully, he shifted her thighs apart, guilt tearing at him anew as he felt the sticky and lightly crusted evidence of his crime on her skin. Gently, so as to not disturb her, he cleaned the mess between her thighs, his movements as methodical and clinical as he could make them when he was relying mostly on his sense of touch as he could hardly see anything in the shadowed room. The smell of fresh blood lingered, but without light, he could not see nor locate the source of the bleeding, and his gentle probing yielded no clues.

As hard as he tried to keep his touch light, the bruised and swollen flesh between the girl's thighs were apparently sensitive enough that even the touch of the cloth on it was enough to cause her pain and discomfort, for she moaned painfully while he cleaned the mess there.

When he was done, he shrugged off his shitagi and covered her with it; he could feel the tattered bits of her clothes around her, and knew that they were no longer salvageable.

Rinsing and wringing the cloth once more, he then proceeded to scrub himself with it. He cleaned away the blood and semen coating his thighs, and the dirt, grime and sweat that covered his body, his movements rough and angry, as if he was trying to cleanse himself of the crime that he could not remember committing.

He wondered if he had done anything else to the girl, anything else that didn't leave behind physical evidences, and cringed in horror at the thought.

Once clean, and his skin red and slightly raw from the vigorous scrubbing, he placed the dirty water aside and draped the cloth over the edge of the tub for it to dry. Having tended to the still slumbering girl, he decided to explore the room he had been left in. If he was lucky, there would be an escape route, although he highly doubted it. The perpetrator went to too much trouble for whatever madness he was planning to slip up now.

The room was given a quick but thorough once over. It was more a cell than room – four walls enclosed a rectangular shaped space, the only exit a thick circular metal door. A line of small, round holes were drilled through near the top of the walls, allowing some air circulation and faint streaks of pink tinted light. What was special about this nondescript room, he discovered, was that every inch of the walls were lined with sekkiseki – a rare type of stone that negates all reiryoku. It was the reason he was unable to sense any reiatsu or feel his reiryoku.

How the perpetrator managed to get his hands on enough sekkiseki to construct an entire room may very well be a clue in figuring out his identity. As far as he knew, the source of the sekkiseki stone was a well guarded secret in the Seireitei, and it was rare enough that they had trouble obtaining enough of it to replace the ones that had been reduced to rubble after the last war.

There was a small wooden crate at a corner of the room that contained a thin blanket, two plain kimonos and, to his relief, a lamp, matches and a bundle of candles. He lit the lamp first, the soft, dim light a welcome change from the crippling darkness and put on the larger of the two kimonos.

The girl moved, and her painful gasp jerked Toshiro from his thoughts. He watched as she sat up, dark eyes wide, pained and confused, long dark hair falling messily over her face, obscuring her features, hands pressing the shitagi he had covered her with securely to her front.

He cleared his throat, and she turned her startled gaze to him, instinctively scrambling back away from him to press against the wall fearfully. Guilt stabbed at him once more, and he swallowed painfully.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he told her, voice low and as soothing as he could make it while trying to appear as harmless as possible to her. She clutched the shitagi tighter and glared distrustfully at him. He winced. Of course she wouldn't trust him, he silently berated himself. He was the bastard who had raped her after all.

An awkward silence fell as they stared at each other, one with fear and distrust, and the other with remorse and guilt.

The girl broke eye contact first, grimacing in pain as she shifted her weight on the bed and pushed her long hair back from her face, allowing him to see her features properly for the first time since they were put in this room.

Toshiro froze and his heart dropped painfully. For the girl he had violated, who was looking at him with fear and pain and distrust in her eyes, was none other than his adopted sister – Hinamori Momo.

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><p><strong>AN: **Cyber hugs to my wonderful reviewers! You guys make me so ridiculously happy. =)


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Dawn was just breaking when Karin woke once more, warm colours lighting up the sky and chasing away the darkness.

She stirred, and became aware of being wrapped in a warm, long forgotten embrace, of strong arms and starchy shirts, soapy detergents and faded minty aftershave. Unwilling to open her eyes, fearful that it was all a dream, she tightened her grip on the fistful of shirt she was clutching.

"Good morning, Karin," the deep voice that rumbled through the solid chest her ear was pressed to very nearly made her weep with relief.

"Daddy," she breathed, trying to hold back her tears. They seemed to come far too easily these days.

"It's ok, sweetheart, I've got you," Isshin soothed. "You're home now."

Karin blinked open moist eyes to a familiar colourful hawaiian print shirt, the jumble of colours almost dizzying after months of monochrome. She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut again. "Urgh. Dad. I would say 'don't ever change', but those shirts need to go."

Her father chuckled, and patted her on the head. "The patients need something cheerful to look at when they're here."

She snorted. "It looks like a toddler threw paint all over you."

"Besides, your mother liked them."

She snorted again, in disbelief this time, and wondered vaguely if her mother had been colourblind or simply blinded by love.

"I'm so sorry, Karin," Isshin murmured, his voice low and serious and full of grief as he stroked her hair gently, "that we weren't able to find you sooner."

His uncharacteristically serious tone had Karin holding back tears and she shook her head. "But you did find me, Dad, all of you, and that's over now," she told him softly, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into his chest again. He did not reply, and instinctively, Karin knew he still blamed himself. Now she knew where her brother got his over-protective instincts and massive guilt complex from.

They stayed in silence for a while, Karin unwilling to let go of her father so soon, and Isshin relishing the warm weight of his baby girl back in his arms. Eventually, Karin pulled away from him reluctantly, wrinkling her nose, and plucked glumly at the patients robe they had dressed her in.

"I think I need a bath," she told her father solemnly, to his amusement.

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><p>The spray from the showerhead hitting her skin had been a long missed sensation after months of wiping down with a worn cloth and a tepid bucket of water. She stood under the warm water for a long time, her mind full of the memories of the past six months. Has it really been that long?<p>

The tears came again, unbidden, and she found herself pressing a hand to her mouth, trying to quiet the sounds of her sobs. She sank down onto the smooth floor tiles, curling up into a fetus position and hugging her knees as she wept under the rain of warm water and the barrage of relentless memories.

Eventually, she cried herself out of tears. Pulling herself together, she finished her bath, turned the showerhead off, and towelled herself dry.

A quick glance at the bathroom mirror showed clearly the physical changes the last six months had brought to her. Her onyx hair was longer than she had ever let it grow, falling somewhere mid-back. Her skin was unusually pale; her body thin and frail. There were shadows under her eyes, which had taken on a red and puffy appearance due to her recent crying bout. When she tilted her body sideways, she could make out the slight roundness of her belly where the baby was nested, and a hand came up instinctively to cradle the bump.

A baby. She had always known there was a possibility - with the things that Toshiro had been forced to do to her, she knew there had always been the possibility. But the news of her pregnancy had still been a bit of shock, for possibility had now become actual fact. Her own protective instincts had been stirred up; she would do anything to protect that fragile life that was growing in her womb. At the same time, she felt overwhelmed and helpless. For what did she know about having and raising a baby? She was only sixteen for crying out loud!

Her hand dropped away, and she turned away from the mirror, jaw set with determination. She would find a way to make things work somehow, and she knew she could rely on her family to be there for her, for they had always rallied around their own. Things would work out fine, she told herself determinedly. It had to.

It was too bad she could not believe it.

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><p>She made her way downstairs after putting on a set of her old clothes that Yuzu had laid out for her, noting with some annoyance how they no longer fit her thinner frame and instead hung loosely around her body.<p>

A scrumptious breakfast had been laid out on the table, courtesy of Yuzu, and Karin felt her mouth water at the sight. After forcing herself to swallow tasteless goo for months, her twin's fragrant and delicious cooking was definitely a welcome change. The rest of her family was already seated at the table, and turned as one to look at her when she pushed the door open. Her sharp eyes caught the worry and relief in their faces that they had tried to hide, and guilt rose up in her chest even as she quickly averted her eyes to the feast Yuzu had laid out on the dining table.

"There you are!" Yuzu exclaimed in an overtly cheery voice, getting up from her seat to grab Karin's hand and ushering her to the table. "I was just about to go up to look for you."

Karin found herself pushed gently into an empty seat and blinked as various dishes were heaped into her bowl of rice, a pair of chopsticks was pushed into her hands and everyone was urging her to dig in.

She plastered a weak smile on her face, hoping that it was reassuring enough, and picked up the bowl. Unfortunately, one whiff of the stir-fried beef and onions had her dropping the utensils and racing for the bathroom as the feeling of nausea struck her. She dry-heaved for a while, her stomach churning, before collapsing on trembling legs onto the bathroom floor.

Someone pulled her long hair back from her face and a glass of water was pressed into her hand. She opened her eyes to find her entire family squeezed into the small bathroom, worry and concern writ on their faces. She rinsed her mouth with the water before flashing them an apologetic grin. "Seems like the baby isn't a fan of onions."

The pronouncement had a different impact on each of her family members. Her father looked slightly amused, while a look of anger crossed her brother's face and his lips pressed into a thin line. Yuzu's face fell a little before she brightened and immediately offered to cook a new dish. Karin waved the offer away with a hand, rinsing her mouth once more before straightening and making her way back to the dining table, the rest of the family trailing her.

"I'm sure there's other things I could eat, Yuzu. Besides, you've cooked enough to feed an army," she told her twin as she sat down and proceeded to remove every single bit of onion she could find from her bowl.

For a while, the only sounds heard were of the Kurosaki digging in. Eventually, Isshin put his bowl down and turned a serious gaze on his dark-haired daughter. "Karin, I think we need to have a talk about the baby."

Silence fell over the dining table as Ichigo and Yuzu both paused in their eating and set their utensils down as well, turning inquiring gazes upon their sister, who had frozen in her seat with her chopsticks halfway to her lips.

Carefully avoiding her family's gazes, Karin asked with feigned nonchalance, "What about it?"

"First things first: Do you plan on keeping this baby?" Isshin asked softly.

Her utensils clattered down onto the table as her wide eyes flew to up to meet Isshin's grave ones. "Of course I am!" she exclaimed, shocked that he even had to ask.

Isshin nodded, the grave expression on his features softening a little.

"Whose is it?" Ichigo demanded, unable to hold his tongue any longer. Isshin shot his son a fierce glare, warning him to back off the subject as Karin's eyes shuttered and her expression became carefully blank. Ichigo frowned, chastened but unrepentant.

"It's none of your business," Karin spat curtly, unable to fully keep the hurt out of her voice.

"Karin," Isshin said gently, drawing her attention again, "we need to know the identity of the baby's father in order to take precautions in the event that this is a cross-species child. We don't know the complications that could arise from the pregnancy if that is the case, and the fetus would have to be carefully monitored to ensure that there are no abnormalities."

She could feel her stomach churning again as his words conjured up images of being locked up in a glass room hooked up to wires and having her every move monitored, and for a moment, it felt like she was back in the lab of that Crazy Scientist. She could feel the memories welling, pushing at the dam she had carefully constructed in her head, and to her mortification, she could feel tears of distress pooling in her eyes. Quickly, she brushed them away with the back of her hand and stood, the chair legs scraping gratingly on the floor.

"No," she stated emphatically, uncaring that her voice came out shaky and far too loud in the quiet room. "I won't be anyone else's test subject!"

"No one is asking you to be a test subject, sweetheart," her father placated, and she recognized the tone of voice he used when soothing highly distressed patients that came through the clinic. "We just want to make sure that you and the baby will both be fine."

The memories had leaked past the dam now, and she could almost see the eerie red glow of the lab's lights, hear the soft hum of the machineries, feel the cold rubber gloves on the Crazy Scientist's hands as his fingers slid across her bare skin. Fear rose up, threatening to overwhelm her. She could feel her heart racing, could taste the bile at the back of her throat. Forcing herself to breathe deeply, she fought it back, fists clenching unconsciously as she glared at her family across the table through tearful eyes.

"It's what will happen," she whispered brokenly. Ignoring her half-eaten breakfast, she left the table and ran out of the house, needing to get away and be alone when she finally gives in to her memories.

The loud slam of the closing front door echoed through the house as the rest of the Kurosaki family exchanged sad glances over the dining table.

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><p><strong>AN: **Many thanks to everyone who reviewed/favourited/added this story to alerts! I'm sorry it took me so long to update. This semester was brutal, and writing took a bit of a back seat as a result. But I'm on a 1 month holiday now, so hopefully I'll be able to churn a few more chapters out before the next semester starts. =)


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 10 <strong>

_Six Months Ago_**  
><strong>

Karin watched the man in front of her warily as he gaped at her with wide, horrified teal eyes. She was disoriented, and her head was spinning mercilessly, but the trauma of the rape was still fresh in her mind, and the painful throbbing of her genitals served as a harsh reminder. Fear wound through her, and with it adrenaline; she gripped the _shitagi_ tighter, prepared to fight if he so much as came near her.

It did not take long for her to recognise the unique colouring of the man in front of her, once she had had a proper look and her mind cleared, and her eyes widened in shock as she placed a name to the face. There was only one person she had known who possessed a head of white hair and piercing teal eyes, and even though she had not seen him for nearly two years, she still recognised his unforgettable features – Hitsugaya Toshiro.

However, the man currently standing in front of her was no longer the small, child-like Shinigami Captain she had hung out with years ago. He had matured physically, and looked more like a man of twenty than the ten-year-old elementary school kid she remembered. The only thing that was familiar was his eyes. They were still the haunted eyes of a soul who had seen and been through far too much for his age. She did not know how much he had changed as a person, and thinking of the rape, was not sure if she wanted to know. The Toshiro she had known would never have hurt her like that. He would sooner cut off his own limbs.

_Could a person really change that much in a span of 2 years?_ She wondered sadly.

She flinched involuntarily when he moved, pressing her back to the wall in a subconscious attempt to get as far away from him as humanly possible, then watched in confusion as he stumbled back until he hit the opposite wall, sliding down its length as if his legs could no longer support his weight, and ended up sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest, eyes filling and shimmering with unshed tears as he continued to stare at her.

She shifted slightly, uncomfortable with the scrutiny and perplexed by the horror and the tears, but gasped softly as pain shot through her nether regions, and wet liquid trickled out. It was then she realised that she could no longer feel the sticky residue of blood and semen from the rape.

Had he cleaned her up? Washed away the evidence of his cruelty? Why would he make the effort to care for her after he had hurt her so? What was his motive? What did he want? Questions ran through her mind, leaving her more confused than before.

She frowned inwardly, and berated herself for caring at all if he did. There was no escaping the fact that he had raped her, and very cruelly so, even if he had bothered to clean up afterwards, she thought bitterly.

She had known Toshiro for a few years now, although 'known' would probably be using the term very loosely. They had first met when she had forcefully roped him into helping her with an important soccer game. It was at the game that a hollow attacked and Toshiro had saved her, revealing in the process that he was no ordinary school kid, but a Shinigami Captain. They had a few chance meetings after that, usually when he ventured into the world of the living on missions or to check up on Granma Haru. She had latched on to him on those occasions, hoping to find out more about the Shinigami, and more than a little curious about the mystery that was Hitsugaya Toshiro, but he never obliged her. He had remained cold and aloof, although she did manage to get him to lose his cool a handful of times, and he would snap at her like an annoyed child. She found it strangely gratifying and kept at it with perverse satisfaction.

Then time passed. Her brother got his powers back, Granma Haru passed on, and the Soul Society went through another war. Toshiro stopped coming to the World of the Living. She thought of him occasionally, when a particularly powerful hollow showed up, or when Ichigo would disappear for days on end without so much as a by-your-leave. But she had her own life to live and she lived it.

She had eventually accepted Urahara Kisuke's offer to train her, but had refused to become a shinigami, unwilling to become embroiled in their never-ending battles. Her only motivation was to protect her family, and Yuzu in particular. Shihouin Yoruichi had offered to train her, and taught Karin shunpo as well as refined her hand-to-hand combat technique. She had then used what she had learnt to protect her family, destroying the weaker hollows and avoiding the stronger ones, especially when Ichigo would disappear for long periods of time and the resident shinigami was slacking off somewhere.

What little she did know of Toshiro, however, told her that he would never hurt her intentionally. Whether it was because Ichigo had once entrusted her safety to him, or because he himself had a sense of duty and responsibility a mile wide, she did not know, but Toshiro would never hurt her on purpose.

But he had raped her. It baffled her that he could and did.

Sorrow and anger welled in her heart at his betrayal. How _could_ he? _Why_ did he?

The sound of him clearing his throat had her cringing and shrinking back, even as she kept her eyes on him, unwilling to be caught unawares.

Toshiro dropped his gaze in shame and guilt, his throat working as he struggled to find the words to say to her, and she absently tracked the movement of his Adam's apple as it bobbed up and down. He swallowed a few times before settling on what he hoped was an assurance. He didn't want her to fear him; didn't want to see the fear in her eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

She couldn't help but snort derisively, momentarily forgetting her fear as she swallowed the retort on the tip of her tongue to scathingly point out that he already had.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he repeated, lifting his head and meeting her gaze again, his voice soft and low and anguished, "not anymore."

She searched his eyes for any hint of insincerity, but found only guilt, self-recrimination and pain. It baffled her. Nothing was making sense. Not his actions, not his words; nothing about this entire situation made any sort of sense.

"Why?" she croaked, "why did you do it? Why did you rape me?"

He looked stricken at the question and dropped his head, hugging his knees tightly to his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice so soft and low she had to strain to hear his words. "I'm so sorry, so very sorry."

She could hear his breath hitching as he took in gulps of air, his shoulders shaking as he started to sob. And still he repeated the words over and over until it became a litany, his voice breaking with every shallow breath. She did not need the medical training that her father had taught her to see that he was rapidly working himself up into hyperventilating.

For a moment she hesitated, torn between her fear of him and worry for the distress he was clearly exhibiting. Worry won that battle, and steeling herself, she determinedly pushed her fear away, rising from the mattress, and securing the _shitagi_ tightly around herself as she did so. The movement intensified the pain burning in her loins, and caused a trickle of what she suspected was blood to slide down the inside of her left thigh. She grimaced.

Slowly, warily, she approached him with shuffling steps, the pain not allowing her any bigger movements. She called his name softly as she went, letting him know she was coming closer, trying to get his attention and distract him from his distress. The last thing she needed was for him to start hyperventilating and pass out.

Her method did not seem to work, for he carried on as he was, almost panting now. The sound of his broken voice faded, and when she knelt down and reached out trembling hands to grab the sides of his face to force him to look at her, he was still mouthing the litany of apologies silently, tears flowing from behind closed eyes.

She frowned, forgetting her fear for the moment, and slipped effortlessly into the role of the nurse that she often worked as at her father's clinic. If the soft approach was not working, she would have to do things the hard way.

"Get a grip and snap out of it, Toshiro!" she hissed fiercely, hoping his military training would instinctively take over and make him obey the command in her voice. It had the desired effect, as he froze and his eyes snapped open to look at her in shock.

"Take deep breaths," she instructed, keeping her gaze level with his, and her voice calm and low. "Take slow, deep breaths."

His glazed eyes locked onto her steel grey ones like they were a lifeline as he obeyed and his hands rose to clutch at hers while he tried to regulate his erratic breaths. They stayed that way until he finally had his breathing under control and was in no danger of hyperventilating.

She heaved a sigh of relief, loosening her hold on the sides of his face and was about to back away when he seemed to grasp her intention and tightened his grip on her hands. Fear surged back into her breast and she tensed, eyes wide and heart pounding. Was he going to attack her again?

Moving on instinct, she tugged her arms sharply, almost falling over when he released her hands unexpectedly. Quickly, she scrambled away from him, not stopping until her back hit a wall and she could move no further. It did not matter to her that just moments ago she was trying to alleviate his distress, and the fear that overwhelmed her now seemed somewhat irrational. In her mind's eye, she was already reliving the terrifying moment when he loomed over her paralysed body and raped her.

Lost in the nightmare of her memories, she did not hear a horrified Toshiro apologize repeatedly, hot tears of guilt and anguish scalding his cheeks as he stared at the trembling figure of his victim; did not hear him call a name as he chanted his regret again and again; did not realize that the name that fell from his lips did not belong to her at all.

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><p><strong>AN: **Many thanks to my wonderful reviewers, and everyone who has favourited or added this story to their alerts! Do drop a note in the box at the bottom of the page if you haven't. =P


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

As quietly as she could, Karin let herself into the dark Kurosaki house; she was cold, hungry and exhausted, but her pride and fear kept her from returning home.

After dashing out of the house in the morning, she just barely managed to pull herself together. Unwilling to turn back, yet terrified of being alone outside, she had wandered aimlessly and eventually found herself at the river where her mother had died. She sat there for hours, staring at the waters, tears streaming silently down her cheeks.

Sometimes, she liked to pretend that she could feel her mother's presence there, even if she knew it was not possible. She had learnt from _him_ that if a spirit lingered long enough in the human world, it would eventually turn into a Hollow. But she liked to pretend anyway. It was at the river that she could express the things that she kept bottled up tightly inside, and pretend that her mother was there lending her a sympathetic ear, and maybe have one of those loving smiles on her face. Karin had very few memories of her mother, but she would always remember her warm, scented embraces and loving smiles.

A whole day had gone and night had fallen by the time she managed to rebuild her armour, and tuck away the memories deep into the farthest recesses of her mind. Steeling herself, she had headed home.

Now, as she made her way past the living room entrance, a shadow moved, and she flinched, biting back a yell of shock, hands coming up instinctively in front of her, pulsing with reiatsu in preparation for a kido spell.

"I'm glad you are home, Karin," the shadow spoke, softly so as to not disturb the rest of the household, and she lowered her hands, the reiatsu dissipating, and scowled at him for nearly giving her a heart attack.

"What the hell, Dad, are you trying to get yourself killed?" she hissed fiercely.

Isshin chuckled, patting the top of her head as she brushed past him on her way to the kitchen. She batted his arm away in annoyance, then abruptly stopped short when she saw a familiar head of spiky orange hair resting over the top of the sofa.

"They waited up for you, too, but they were too tired and nodded off about an hour ago," Isshin told her.

She nodded, eyes softening as she rounded the sofa and saw Ichigo sprawled on the sofa, Yuzu curled up beside him, head on his lap. Blankets had been carefully tucked around their slumbering figures, most probably her father's doing.

Isshin came up beside her, hands slipped casually into his pants pockets as they watched the pair of siblings sleep, listened to the soft inhale and exhale of their breaths.

How she had missed them, Karin thought sadly. All of them, even her insane father. The memories of them, and the hope that Ichigo would eventually come for her, were what kept her sane during her incarceration, especially as the months went by with only _him_ for company.

She slid a glance towards her father, noted his protective gaze. Taking a steadying breath, she forced herself to look her father in the eye. "I am ready to talk now, Dad."

A look of understanding crossed his face as he nodded gravely, made his way to the dining table and took a seat, linking his fingers and resting them on the table top. He watched silently as Karin mimicked his actions, seating herself opposite him.

There was a long pause. Isshin waited his daughter out patiently as she dropped her gaze, and then her hands into her lap, fidgeting with her fingers. She would need a moment to gather her thoughts, he knew, because this was not easy for her, and it probably never will be.

Karin's heart was pounding, and the words she had rehearsed in her head as she walked home seemed to have left her. This was her father, she reminded herself, he would protect her, even if he did seem to be insane half the time.

But first, she had a few questions needing answers that only he could provide. There were too many puzzle pieces that did not fit in her mind, the longer and harder she thought about it – and she had a lot of time to think in that little cell – too many things she did not know, too many things that were kept from her. And her father definitely knew more than he was letting on, she was sure of that.

The time for secrets was over, she decided. One too many people have suffered from these so-called secrets, and now there was even an innocent life involved. It cannot continue. She mentally steeled herself and took a deep breath, raising her head and meeting her father's gaze.

"I need to know a few things before I can tell you anything, Dad," she began, "the first of which is, how much do you know about Shinigami and the Soul Society?"

Isshin sighed, raising a hand to rub the back of his head in a familiar gesture she had seen her brother do, often when he was feeling awkward or just lost for words. "More than you think I do, I suppose," he murmured uncomfortably.

Karin frowned. "Answer the question, Dad."

Isshin sighed again, furtively glancing at Ichigo as if he expected his son to wake up and save him from this interrogation. When he didn't, sleeping on in oblivious bliss, Isshin exhaled loudly.

"Dad!" Karin hissed, impatient now, shooting her brother a glance as well. He would be getting his own personal interrogation too – she would make sure of _that_ – especially now that he can't lie to her about the existence of Shinigami.

Resignation settled wearily on her father's features as he stood and took a step away from the table.

Anxious to get the answers she sought, Karin quickly stood as well, intent on keeping her father at the table.

Isshin held out a staying hand. "I'm not going anywhere, Karin. It's just that the best way to answer that question is to show you."

And Karin watched in astonishment as her father's soul separated from his body. She was hard pressed not to let her jaw drop as she took in the sight in front of her.

He was garbed in the black Shinigami shihakusho; a zanpakuto hung from the side of his left hip, tucked safely into a scabbard. She recognised the tattered cloak, that was fastened over his left shoulder by a metal guard, as that of a Shinigami Captain's haori. _He_ wore one of those as a Shinigami, she remembered.

Shock soon gave way to anger, and Karin narrowed her eyes at her father, feeling the rage build up inside of her.

Her own father was a damn Shinigami! How could he have kept such a secret from them for years? His own family! All those years pretending he couldn't see spirits and Hollows! He had been lying to them all along!

"You are a shingami too?" she spat, outraged. "Just when were you planning to let us in on this little secret?"

Isshin shook his head, sorrow and weariness clear in his eyes. "None of you were supposed to become involved with the Soul Society. I never wanted that for any of you."

"So you were just going to keep us in the dark for the rest of our lives?" She glared when Isshin looked away uncomfortably. "You have got to be kidding me."

"You must understand, Karin, I was only trying to do what's best. I was only trying to protect you," he pleaded.

"Yeah. Look how well that turned out. A delinquent, schizophrenic son with a split personality disorder and a pregnant teenage daughter who didn't even graduate from high school," she bit out sarcastically, knowing how much the words would hurt her father, but unable to stop herself from lashing out at him. She was hurting and pissed and needed someone to blame. Deliberately, she ignored the fact that a mere six months ago, she, like the males in her family, was also guilty of lying to and hiding things from her twin.

Isshin's eyes were pained. "I can't undo the past, Karin."

She chose not to acknowledge that statement, asking instead, "Does Ichigo know?"

"He found out 6 years ago."

"Figures," she snorted derisively, pissed at the males in her family. "He always avoided the topic and pretended Shinigami and Hollows and the Soul Society is a figment of my imagination. Not so much now, is it?"

"Ichigo just didn't want you involved. He was trying to protect you too."

"I didn't need protection, Dad. What I needed to know was just what the hell was going on with my own damn family! Not listen to their stupid lies in a misguided attempt to smother me in a cotton blanket!"

Isshin sighed, but did not respond to her accusations.

"And Yuzu?"

"We had to explain some things to her soon after you were taken. She knows about the Soul Society, about me and about Ichigo."

Karin raised a brow. "How much does she know?"

"Enough," her father said curtly, wanting to get away from the subject. It was true that he had not wanted for his family to get involved with the Soul Society, and it irked him to no end that now all of them, even poor Yuzu, had to be dragged into this mess.

The big men probably didn't like that part much, Karin thought snarkily. Although it probably made things much easier now that Yuzu knew about the Soul Society and Shinigami and Hollows, especially since it would be hard to explain to her their concerns regarding the baby.

"And we do need to talk about the baby, Karin," he prompted, his voice softening as he changed the subject, "we are not going to hurt you, or perform experiments on you. We just want to help you and make sure that the pregnancy goes smoothly in the event that it is a cross species child."

Her attention was diverted immediately as Isshin had wanted, although he hated to see the fear that entered her dark eyes.

"Who's we?" she asked suspiciously.

"Urahara Kisuke, myself, and if you permit, Captain Unohana Retsu."

Karin's eyes narrowed, and a spark of fight shone through the fear. "Aside from you, I only know who Urahara is, and I wouldn't trust that crazy old man near me with a 10 foot iron stick."

Her father's lips quirked at her slur on Urahara. "Nevertheless, you can trust him on this."

Karin snorted in disbelief. "And this Captain person?"

"Unohana Retsu is the Captain of the Fourth Division of the Gotei 13. She is the best healer the Soul Society has and the Fourth Division is specialized in the healing arts."

Karin gave a noncommittal grunt. She was not quite sure what to make of that, in fact, she was not sure of what to make of the line up at all. A Shinigami Captain, a loony old man, and a father whom she still was not sure was quite all there. So not the people she would trust herself or the baby with.

Her hesitance must have shown on her face, for her father's features gentled with compassion and he lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I understand that you are not yet ready to be confronted with whatever it was that happened during your imprisonment, but we have to, at the very least, know who the father of the child is."

"But you already know who he is," Karin murmured, avoiding his gaze, "you wouldn't have those concerns otherwise."

Isshin tone was sombre, "It's Hitsugaya's isn't it?"

She inclined her head in a semblance of an acknowledgement.

"You're absolutely sure?"

Her eyes flashed with anger and hurt before she lowered her gaze to the floor, but there was no hiding the tightening of her jaw, nor the nauseating feeling in her belly. And Isshin's sharp eyes missed nothing.

How did she know that the baby was Toshiro's? She didn't know what that madman had done to her all the times he had had her in his lab, strapped down to a table and unconscious, and there was that unaccounted length of time she had been under an induced sleep. The truth of the matter is, she had simply reached the only conclusion she could given what she knew. She could not confirm anything unless the baby was subjected to a paternity test. Her memories, she realized with dawning horror, were unreliable and incomplete.

She swallowed the urge to cry, again, and simply shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

"Oh my baby girl, what did they do to you?" Isshin asked sadly, grief in every word.

Karin did not answer, biting down on her bottom lip and trembling with the effort to keep the tears at bay.

Isshin's heart broke again as he watched his daughter try valiantly to remain strong. Stepping forward, he engulfed Karin in a hug. "It's ok to let the tears come. Even the strongest people have to cry sometime."

Her slight frame shuddered at his words. Slowly, her hands crept up to return his embrace, fisting the shirt on his back tightly. Two heaving breaths later, Isshin felt her tears soak the front of his shirt as she pressed her face into his chest, and he held her gently, like the most delicate china, as she wept silently in his arms once again.

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><p><strong>AN:** It took a while, but I finally got this chapter out. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! It's fantastic encouragement and like candy to me. :)


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

_Six Months Ago_

Karin did not know how long they both remained that way, frozen and trembling on opposite corners of the room, each lost in their own nightmares. Eventually, with great effort, she managed to pull herself together and out of her nightmare long enough to curl up on the floor in the part of the tiny cell furthest away from Toshiro. She must stayed there for ages, arms wrapped around her knees, eyes following Toshiro's every movement mistrustfully, until the cold air of the room penetrated her bones and her limbs became stiff from the inactivity.

He did not attempt to approach her in any way again, thankfully, instead staying on the other side of the room, curled up on the floor like she was, head cradled in his hands, eyes shut.

He had stopped crying a while ago, and his litany of apologies had ceased long before then.

She wondered what was going through his mind as the silence dragged on. Was he confused, angry, frustrated? He never did answer her question from before, she realised. She still did not know his reasons for raping her, and as much as she wanted answers, she did not want to be the one to break this fragile silence.

She really should be looking for a way out of this cell, she thought with a glance at the heavy metal door, but she knew that she was too weak to make any sort of escape attempt in her condition. The rape had taken a lot of her emotionally and physically, even more than she suspected she was admitting to, but more than that, she was made even weaker from the lack of sustenance. She could not remember the last time she ate, and she could, even now, feel her stomach cramping up in protest at the lack of food.

She scowled, cursing the crazy scientist silently, recognizing that this was probably part of his plan to prevent them from escaping. _It was not a very good one_, she thought, _we could both starve to death before he got whatever it was that he wanted_.

Toshiro's head snapped up, eyes open and alert, when the soft clicking of locks drew their attention. Immediately they scrambled to their feet, Karin with some difficulty, backs pressed instinctively against the wall.

The heavy metal door swung in and crashed loudly against the wall, and the sudden stream of bright light flooding the room had them both shielding their eyes reflexively.

Two hulking forms stepped into the room, clad in the black shihakusho of the Shinigami. Framed by the light at their backs, their faces were cast into shadow, making it hard to discern their identity, but it wouldn't have mattered, both prisoners realised as the two forms made for Karin, because they had black cloth masks pulled over their heads, effectively hiding their identities.

Karin braced herself to fight them off, but Toshiro stepped deliberately into their direct path, cutting off their access to her. This was not enough for them to break their stride, and they simply tried to shove Toshiro out of the way with brute strength. But he had earned his rank as a Shinigami Captain for a reason, and anticipating their move, he grabbed both their wrists, used their weight and momentum against them, and hurled them to the other side of the room.

The two men crashed against the wall, and then onto the floor in a groaning heap. Toshiro did not hesitate. Moving quickly, he grabbed Karin by the elbow, pulling her out of the cell and down the corridor.

She let him, too eager to escape to protest the handling. She tried her best to hide her pain has she hobbled along behind him, the stiffness in her limbs and the soreness between her legs making themselves known with a vengeance.

Toshiro was cursing colourfully under his breath, and were they not running for their lives, Karin would have found his very inventive curses vastly amusing. She would be cursing too, were she not out of breath from trying to keep up with him. She may be an athlete, but her speed and stamina was not a match for Toshiro's, even at her best.

She wondered why he was not using shunpo, as it would have been a much better way to outrun and escape their captors, but had her answer when she tried a step and failed. It was only then she realised that her reiryoku was badly drained, and she could not even gather enough reiatsu to perform a simple shunpo step. Panic surged through her and the adrenaline that came with it had her running even faster. Without shunpo, it was likely they would be captured again before they could escape, especially if their captors used shunpo or any similar technique.

An alarm blared as they hurtled down yet another corridor, and out of the corner of her eye she noted heavy metal shields sliding in place to cover all the doorways. She could feel her fear and panic rising as they passed through the corridor with no exit in sight.

Still, Toshiro kept on running, tugging on her arm ever so often as she struggled to keep up with him, her injury hampering her movements greatly. She muttered an oath as he tugged at her arm again. Her arm was going to be tugged out of its socket if he kept that up.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, he came to a halt abruptly, and their momentum caused Karin to plow into his back, and nearly fall over. She muttered another curse under her breath as she regained her balance and righted herself. "What is it?"

He did not answer her, but his jaw clenched, teal eyes turning to ice as he glared at the sight before him. At his sides, his fingers curled into fists.

Peeking around him, she followed his gaze to the only open doorway, and the room that lay beyond it.

The room was small and dark, and the only illumination was from the light spilling in from the corridor. A wooden bucket placed next to the right wall had been knocked over, and water stained with pink had spilled from it all over the floor in a messy puddle. Wet footprints led from the puddle to the doorway and disappeared in the direction away from them down the corridor. A single rumpled mattress lay on the floor next to the left wall, a large blood red stain in its middle.

She could feel her heart stop for a painful moment, could feel the blood drain from her face as she realized why it was that Toshiro had stopped and where it was exactly that they had ended up.

This was the very room that they had escaped from. They had come back full circle to their starting point.

They had failed to escape after all.

As she gaped at the room, frozen by horror and fear, Toshiro swiped at the air with lightning fast movements, and two metal darts clattered to the ground. Startled, Karin instinctively pressed herself closer to Toshiro, eyes searching their surroundings, wary of getting hit by the darts; her reflexes, even at her best, were not on par with Toshiro's.

Toshiro lashed out again and again, as more darts came at them like bullets of a machine gun, his movements so fast that she could only see and hear the darts that he had connected with hit the floor. But even as fast as he was he could not get all of them, and she felt the sting of a dart pierce through the skin of her arm. She plucked it out immediately, dropping it to the ground to join the rest, but it was still too late, she realised with fear and panic, as lethargy begun to spread through her. Her legs went weak, and she tried to grasp Toshiro's hand as she collapsed on the ground.

However, the dart must not have had the time to finish its job, because even though she was weak and lethargic and helpless as a newborn, she did not go completely under. Her eyelids fluttered as she struggled to stay awake.

She heard the heavy thud of a body hitting the floor, then light footsteps coming closer, the soft screeches as the metal darts were pushed out of the way. The footsteps stopped behind her, and muffled words were exchanged.

Someone picked her up roughly, and slung her facedown over a shoulder. She could feel the blood rush to her head as the person moved, carrying her to an unknown destination as she tried to remain conscious. Faintly, she could see an unconscious Toshiro being carted back into the room from which they had tried to escape from.

It seemed they had travelled a distance as she drifted in and out of consciousness, the concrete floors and bright lights and whitewashed walls blending together and confusing her perception as her upside-down position made her more and more light-headed.

Eventually, she was placed on a cool surface, and restrained at her wrists and ankles. It all felt disturbingly familiar, and even as sluggish as her perception and reactions were at the moment, she could still feel a frisson of fear creep across her mind. She tried to struggle, but all she could manage was a weak toss of her head and a slight flailing of her limbs.

Delighted laughter filled her ears, and a frightfully painted face filled her vision. She felt her heart leap in shock and horror, her body jerking back reflexively, away from the object of her fear, but she realised with a sinking heart that she could not escape at all, strapped in as she was.

Her eyes darted around, seeking an escape, a faint whimper rising up in her throat at the futility of it.

"I would love to watch your useless struggling, for it is so very entertaining, but I have experiments I have to conduct with you. It's such a shame," the painted face told her in a voice full of anticipation, grinning madly. "Lights out for you."

The last thing she heard was the beeping of machines and soft gleeful humming. Then the darkness dragged her down and she knew no more.

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><p><strong>AN: **I was stuck for the longest time, trying to get the end of this chapter right, then BAM! It hit me like a bullet train and I finished it in one night. LOL.

Btw, Picking Up the Pieces has hit 100 reviews! OMG. Thank you so very much to everyone who has reviewed so far. You guys are amazing! =D


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

The whitewashed wooden gate may have been the sekkiseki-lined walls from his previous prison, as far as Hitsugaya was concerned. It certainly seemed forbidding enough, he thought, eyeing it with trepidation on the opposite side of the street, unwilling to approach it just yet.

It has been years since he was last here.

A careful probe for reiryoku in the house that lay beyond that gate told him that only she and her twin were in the house at the moment. He was hesitant to make his presence known with just the two of them present. He had not seen or heard from the Kurosakis since the day of the rescue and did know how they would react upon seeing him again.

Although, if he was being honest with himself, there was only one person whose reaction he cared about and her reiryoku placed her in the house.

He had put in a request for a trip to the World of the Living immediately after he had settled back into his office at the Tenth Division after a long absence. The request was, surprisingly, granted by the Head Captain and Central 46. It was probably due to the fact that they wanted to get the details of the events of his incarceration from him as soon as possible, and he had stated during the trial with Central 46 that he would only give them that information after he had spoken with Karin.

Furthermore, a week after his trial, and his subsequent return to his duties as the Tenth Division Captain, it became clear that he was the only one, aside from Karin, who would be able to provide Central 46 with the information they urgently sought. It seemed that the twelfth division was having trouble cracking the codes that were encrypted on the computers retrieved from the laboratories of the dangai pocket dimension; something about several layers of codes, according to Matsumoto. Apparently, even Urahara Kisuke was still unable to fully decode them.

The approval did not come without restrictions, despite how quickly it was passed. In addition to the power limiter, he also had to wear a location tracker and relinquish Hyorinmaru to the Head Captain for the duration of his visit. Hyorinmaru had not been at all pleased to be separated from his wielder once more, but acquiescenced because he understood Hitsugaya's need to have this meeting with Karin.

She was the only one who could possibly provide him with the answers to the questions that he has of the past six months.

A deep voice spoke from behind him, pulling him from his thoughts, and had him whirling around, stance at the ready.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up."

At the sight of the Kurosaki patriarch, Hitsugaya dropped his stance, and bowed deeply as he greeted the older man respectfully.

Isshin's shrewd dark gaze held Hitsugaya's for a long while. "You are here to talk to Karin, I presume."

"Yes, sir."

"Hmm," was Isshin's noncommittal hum as he turned and crossed the street to his house. "Well, come on in then," he invited, pushing the gate open, then waiting for Hitsugaya to enter before latching it shut.

"How is... Karin?" Hitsugaya inquired tentatively as he followed Isshin to the front door, and waited patiently as he searched for his keys.

"As well as can be under the circumstances," Isshin replied, his vague answer leaving Hitsugaya worried and anxious to see Karin for himself. It felt as if Isshin was hiding something from him with regards to Karin, and as much as he understood why it would be so, he could not help feeling a little troubled by it.

Isshin called out to the twins as he let both himself and Hitsugaya into the house, informing Karin that she had a guest, before offering Hitsugaya a seat at the living area.

Yuzu greeted her father as she came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on the flowery apron she had on. Her eyes fell on Hitsugaya, and she smiled politely at him, greeting him sweetly with a hint of the surprise she could not quite hide.

He returned the greeting, and accepted her offer of a drink. As he took a seat in the living room, he could hear Yuzu thanking her father as she took the grocery bag he was carrying and disappeared into the kitchen once more.

"I heard you refused to give Central 46 any details regarding the period of your incarceration," Isshin commented as he joined him, taking a seat on the sofa on the perpendicular right of the couch Hitsugaya had seated himself.

Hitsugaya nodded. "I cannot give them anything as I am, myself, unsure of the events that happened during that time."

Isshin raised a brow, but did not offer a comment.

"My perceptions of the events are skewed," he admitted, "which is part of the reason why I need to speak with Karin so urgently."

"I see," Isshin murmured.

Both men fell silent as Yuzu approached with a cup of hot tea. Hitsugaya thanked her as she placed the tea gently on the coffee table in front of him.

She flashed him another polite smile, darting a questioning glance at her father before retreating into the kitchen once more.

Before the men could speak again, the sound of soft footfalls had them looking up. Karin came into the room, a questioning look on her face that faded only to be replaced by a guarded mask as her gaze fell on Hitsugaya when he stood and greeted her softly.

"Toshiro."

He inwardly cringed at the stiff and wary tone of her voice, and the hint of fear underlying it. Not that it was surprising that she would feel afraid, but he had hoped otherwise.

She looked vastly different from the girl he remembered. Her toned and lightly muscled frame had been replaced by a thin, fragile shadow, and the soccer jersey she had on only emphasized that, hanging loosely on her instead of fitting properly like it used to. Her cheeks were shrunken and hallowed, her eyes enormous on her much thinner face. But it seemed that a full week of proper nutrition and loving care from her family was starting to do its job, for she looked like she had filled out a little, and her cheeks had a hint of a healthy glow.

They stared at each other awkwardly, neither knowing what to say.

"Well," Isshin exclaimed brightly as he stood and headed for the front door, "I'll just leave you two to talk then. I'm sure both of you have plenty to talk about."

"Dad..." Karin rolled her eyes at his false enthusiasm.

He gave her shoulder a squeeze as he passed her on the way out. "I'll just be at the clinic if you need me. And Yuzu is in the kitchen preparing dinner."

Karin's gaze softened. "I know. Thanks, Dad."

Isshin flashed her a reassuring smile, and left for the clinic, closing the front door softly behind him.

Karin's gaze flickered briefly to Hitsugaya, and she took a deep, steadying breath before she approached him, taking the seat her father had vacated.

An awkward silence fell, interspersed by the occasional sounds of Yuzu puttering in the kitchen.

"How... Umm... How have you been coping?" Hitsugaya asked hesitantly, catching her gaze and breaking the silence before it could stretch further.

"As well as I can, under the circumstances... And you?"

"About the same."

The awkward silence fell again. Karin lowered her gaze to her lap and fiddled with the hem of her oversized jersey. Hitsugaya fixed his gaze on the cup of tea on the coffee table.

"Why-"

"I-"

Both begun and stopped when the other did, mumbling apologies in unison. They glanced uncomfortably at each other, then looked away again.

Hitsugaya sighed inwardly as yet another uncomfortable silence fell. Silence had never been their enemy before now. They used to be able to sit in a comfortable silence for ages, a long time ago. Besides, they were never going to get to their shared past if they continued on like this, unable to meet each other's gaze or hold a proper conversation.

He cleared his throat as an indication that he was going to speak, and levelled what he hoped was a calm and polite gaze at her. When she met his gaze with a guarded one of her own, he took it as his cue to start speaking.

"I came here today to apologize," he started, standing up and bowing deeply. "I am sorry. Sorry for everything I did to you during our incarceration, sorry for making you suffer as you did, and most of all, sorry that I did not know it was you who was with me the whole time."

Karin sighed and shook her head slightly. "The blame doesn't lie with you. You were as much a puppet as I was. I don't blame you. In a way, I never have."

Toshiro straightened, gaping at her in astonishment. He did not know what sort of reaction he was expecting from her, but that answer was not it. Blame that he was more than willing to shoulder, for instance, or rage he was more than willing to bear the brunt of, but not the easy forgiveness that she was offering him.

"If anyone was to blame, Toshiro, they would be the ones who put us through all that."

He collapsed back into his seat, unable to argue with her cool logic. "But -" he sputtered, "- but, I was the one who-"

"You had no choice in the matter, Toshiro," she countered, cutting across him before he could finish forming any sort of coherent thought. "I knew that much after a while. I did blame you in the beginning, I'm not going to lie about that, but I realized after a while that it wasn't your fault. You're as much a victim as I am."

He expelled a breath. In all of the scenarios of their meeting that he had tortured himself with since he had made up his mind to visit her, none of them went even remotely close to this. After all he had done, he found it hard to let go of his guilt, even now that she had made it abundantly clear that she did not put any of the blame on him, for he had so much to be guilty for. "I still am sorry for everything."

The corner of her lips lifted in a faint smile, and a hint of amusement entered her eyes. "You have a guilt complex like Ichigo's, you know that? And his is pretty damn big."

Hitsugaya frowned, unsure if he should be amused or insulted.

"I had something that I wanted to ask you," he told her, effectively changing the subject, as he reminded himself of his main objective in coming to the World of the Living. He watched the amusement in her eyes fade away and the guarded mask fall back into place. "I know now that something happened to me to warp my visual and auditory perception during our incarceration. Do you know what it was?"

Karin shook her head. "No, I never figured out what it was. But then again, we were separated quite frequently during that time, so I have no idea what happened to you while we were apart."

"I see," Toshiro murmured, slightly dejected. He had hoped that Karin would have known something. It seemed that he would have to wait for the information on the computers retrieved to be decoded afterall.

"But," she added, "I did figure out that whatever caused the problem would weaken after a while. Sometimes, it seemed that it weakened enough that you could actually see me instead of her."

He noticed how she had deliberately avoided calling Momo by name, but let it go for the moment. There were more pressing matters at hand, to his mind. But still, he filed that note away at the back of his mind.

His brows creased as he went through his memories of his incarceration again. He had done the same so many times since their rescue that he could do so easily now, keep those memories locked away safely in the corner of his mind until it was safe to look at them once more. But this time, he had a slightly new angle to observe his memories from. Did he manage to identify Karin as the person in the cell with him at all during their captivity? Or had she read too much into his every move at the time?

Indeed, there were times back then when Momo's face had blurred when he looked at her, but at the time he just assumed that it was his mind that was playing tricks on him when he was too weak from the lack of proper sustenance. Kami knows that the goo that they had tried to pass off as food was not exactly nourishing or remotely tasty. Most of the time they had to force the goo down just so that they would not starve to death.

"How aware was I of my surroundings exactly?" he asked.

She chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully. "As far as I could tell, aside from me and the times you... that is..." She trailed off, clearly uncomfortable with the direction her memories were taking her. She took a deep shuddering breath, skirting around the white elephant in the room and continued, "Aside from... those times... you were more or less completely aware of your surroundings. There was nothing odd about your reactions and responses otherwise, from what I can remember."

He felt the guilt stab painfully into him like a rusty knife as he saw how much the events of their incarceration still affected her, but like her, he was unwilling to approach the dreaded topic just yet. Instead, he latched on to the rest of her answer like a lifeline. "So, it was only when I was interacting with you that I was completely out of it?"

Karin nodded slowly, thinking hard. "Maybe... I think that they would separate us whenever it seemed you were starting to become more lucid when interacting with me."

"They would?"

"Yeah, that was the pattern, now that I think about it. Did they inject or dose you with anything while you were on your own?"

He shook his head. "Not that I can recall. But the goo did taste a lot worse." He trailed off on the thought. Perhaps this was an explanation to the goo tasting worse when they had been separated.

"Orally administered, do you think?" Karin prodded, following his train of thought.

"Most likely through the gruel," he agreed.

"Is it a drug then? A form of hallucinogen?" she wondered.

"I've never heard of such a hallucinogen before, especially one that so specifically and precisely targets certain senses, objects and events to warp the user's perception to objects and events."

"But you weren't hallucinating, were you? It seemed more like you were trapped under some kind of illusion."

He grimaced. "An illusion?"

"Yeah, I mean, you were able to interact with me and everything, and you were more or less lucid and sane, even if you were technically seeing another in my place," she explained.

"Perhaps," he mused, "I don't really know how much of my memories I can trust at this point."

"Maybe it was a drug that caused illusions then?"

"I'm not ruling out anything at this point."

"Could there really be such a sophisticated drug?" she wondered

"I honestly don't know," Hitsugaya sighed, perturbed by what he had just learnt from Karin. The only time he had known or witnessed something similar to what she had just told him, was when he was under the thrall of Aizen's zanpakto. And that had ended with him running Momo through with his own blade.

He really hated any sort of manipulative illusion. It never ended well for anyone.

Although disappointed that he had not learnt more from her about his incarceration as he had hoped, he was nonetheless glad to have at least figured out a theory as to why he had seen Momo in her place, and have an definitive answer as to which parts of his memory had been warped.

They lapsed into silence again, each lost in their own thoughts.

"So... where do we go from here?" Karin asked softly, and Hitsugaya looked up to see her gaze falling back to her lap, her shoulders slightly hunched, as if she was afraid of his answer.

He could feel something inside him thaw a little at the vulnerability that she was showing at the moment, for Karin had never been one to show any sort of vulnerability, preferring to project a tough veneer and keep everything bottled up inside. She probably was not even aware that she was projecting it, he thought, eyes softening as he gazed at her lowered head.

Gently, he took her hands in his, ignoring the surprised flinch and jerk they made before she was able to hide it. She looked up, surprise in her eyes, and he knew it was because he was never one for any display of emotion, or gestures of the same. But he needed to anchor himself, and give them both the reassurance and comfort that they needed and were only able to give to each other, as they had had to so often during their incarceration, even though he had thought she was someone else at the time.

"I don't know where we will go from here," he told her solemnly, holding her guarded gaze with his own sombre one, "But what we can do, is to pick up the pieces, and move on from here. We may not be able to forget what happened, and I don't think we ever will, but we have lives to live now that we have been freed from that prison."

She didn't say anything, but her fingers tightened on his hand, and the guardedness in her gaze faded, to be replaced by a bone deep sorrow and weariness.

He returned her grip, his eyes never leaving hers. "We could help each other. You don't have to do this by yourself."

"Just like before," she whispered, a flicker of hope entering her shadowed gaze.

"Yes," he promised her, as much for himself as it was for her. Because only they could help each other through the horrors that they had faced; they were the only ones who knew what happened, regardless of how warped some of those memories were, and they were the only ones who had lived through it. "Just like before."

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><p><strong>AN: **Many thanks to the four reviewers who reviewed that last chapter, it really made my day =) Also, you can thank** Adobo-chan **for this (relatively) quick update. Apparently, my muse works best with bribes that are not from me. LOL.

I know many of you have been waiting for this chapter, and I hope it did not disappoint. There is still an all too important issue to address, of course, but I felt it best to end this chapter where I did. However, it will be brought up in the coming chapters, I promise! =)


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

_Six Months Ago_

Toshiro woke into darkness once more.

He stared at the whitewashed ceiling for a moment, disoriented from the headache that was pounding through his head. He sat up slowly, pressing the heel of a hand to his temple as his memories caught up with him. Waking up in the dark room to a nightmare, Momo, the attempt at escape, and the subsequent ambush and recapture. He had wondered why the guards did not give chase, especially since they would have caught him and Momo easily with _shunpo _with both their_ reiatsu_ drained due to being locked inside a_ sekkiseki_ lined room. Now he knew. They had simply waited for them to make their way back to their starting point and lay in ambush.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, aided by the soft glow of the strange reddish lights illuminating the ceiling, he realized that Momo was not in the room with him. He frowned, a feeling of unease creeping up on him. Was she an illusion that his tortured mind had conjured up? Did the events that had transpired really happen? Did he really violate her? Was there really a failed escape attempt? What was going on?

Frustrated by these questions that he had no answers to, he got up, went to the chest that he had found before, retrieved a candle and lighted it. He noted vaguely that he had been out long enough that the mess that he had created during his escape attempt had been cleaned up.

The bucket of water had been righted and the water replaced, he discovered, as he approached it, and the mattress had been changed, the blood red stain marking the violence that had taken place gone.

His eyes lot upon a bowl that had been placed on the floor next to the door, and he picked it up. It was an unidentifiable goo that on closer inspection looked as though it may have been intended to be some kind of gruel. He tried a sample and spat it out immediately. It was not fit for human consumption.

Setting the bowl down on the floor, he retreated back to the mattress, feeling rather bereft. He had no idea what was going on, much less why he had now been left to his own devices.

Where was Momo, he fretted, and what were they doing to her? Guilt rose up inside him like a tidal wave at the thought of her. He had failed her yet again, she whom he had vowed to protect. Somehow he always ended up being the one who hurt her. Despite how much harder he trained, how much stronger he got, he was still unable to be the one to protect her.

Impatiently, he waited, and waited, and waited for her to be brought back to this room. Hours must have passed, days even, he did not know exactly how long, for time meant nothing in that darkened room. The only way he could track the time, was by how many candles were burnt out. Time passed long enough that he had nearly exhausted the supply of candles that he had been given, and begun to grow weak from the lack of sustenance. And still she did not return.

He began to wonder if he had imagined it all, if the nightmare that had happened was some sort of illusion designed to control him, to torture him so that he would not know truth from lies. He prayed that it was so, for he did not want it to be the truth; he did not want to have hurt the one person he had sworn to protect worse than he already had.

Alone in the dark silent cell, time passed as he wallowed in his thoughts. It was not long before the hunger had weakened him so much that he would have been unable to put up a proper fight or even have the energy to escape should the opportunity present itself once more. So, he forced himself to feed on the only sustenance available to him - the bowl of gruel that they had provided.

It was nothing short of torture, trying to force the gruel down and not throw it up as he desperately wanted to, but he managed out of sheer will to survive. If he wanted to have any hope of escaping, he needed what little nutrition and energy that the gruel could provide. And if he had not imagined the nightmare, he needed the strength to be able to save Momo as well. That alone was more than enough motivation for him.

Along with the renewed energy from the sustenance, he started to condition his body in the limited space he had. He knew from their failed escape attempt and his examination of the room, that he would be severely drained of reiatsu once he left the cell, and it would be a while before he could build up enough reiatsu to even shunpo properly. To make up for it, he wanted to build up his physical strength, so that he could at least fight off, or incapacitate the guards when he needed to.

Those workout sessions almost always left him fidgety, with adrenaline pumping through his veins and nowhere to go. But he never minded them, and instead, would take the opportunity to practice his jinzen, and attempt to reconnect with Hyorinmaru again.

And so he continued, minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, dreading the day that he would see Momo again.

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><p>The heat came gradually, working its way through his body and spreading it through his veins. He did not notice it at first, for it was so mild it was nearly unnoticable. But as the days went by, the heat burned hotter and hotter, until it felt as though he might spontaneously combust if he did not get some relief soon.<p>

At first he thought it was a fever, but he had had fevers before, and this was nothing like that. The heat was excruciating, and he pressed himself to the cool walls, trying to elevate some of the fire flickering through him, whimpering occasionally at the agony. In a moment of weakness, he called to the guards, pleading for help, for relief from the agony, but they never came.

He could feel his mind slowly being consumed by this fire, feel his sanity slowly fading from his grasp, until it seemed he was nothing more than a primitive animal operating on its base instincts, incapable of intellegent thought. It terrified him, this animal he was turning into, even more so that he was unable to stop the degeneration.

So when the darkness of unconciousness came, he fell into it gratefully.

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><p>He was face down on top of a warm body when he came to, and he felt a horrifying sense of deja vu as he pushed himself up, and sat back on his haunches.<p>

He looked down with dread and his heart stopped when he saw Momo sprawled on the mattress beneath him, thighs bruised and bloodied.

It was not an illusion or hallucination. He had not imagined her presence. Instead, it seemed as if he was stuck in a repeating nightmare, where he would wake to the bloody evidence of his crime, and have no memory of how and why he had committed those atrocities.

If she had been afraid of him before, how would she react to him now?

Despair fell over him like a cloud as he stared at her unconcious form. All he had ever wanted to do was protect her, but instead, he had ended up being the one who hurt her the most.

In that moment, he had never hated himself more.

Shaking himself out of his misery, he gathered his wits about him and stood. Regardless of how she would react towards him when she woke, he still had to take care of her. He owed it to her.

Like the first time he had found them both in the exact same situation, Toshiro went to the tub to wring a cloth to clean the both of them up. Unlike the first time, however, the gentlest of touches on her genitals had her stirring, and the next moment she shot up and scrambled away from him, dark eyes wide with terror and fear, pressing herself against the wall with a faint whimper.

Guilt wrapped around him like poison ivy and strangled him with its vines.

"Please," he croaked, voice raspy from the lack of use and the effort of keeping his tears at bay, "please, I just want to help you."

She shrunk back from his outstretched hand, horror and abject fear on clear on her face, pressing into the wall as if that would help her get further from him.

He flinched, his hand falling limply to his side. He knew and understood that she was terrified of him, but he could not help her in any way at all if she refused his offer. Holding back tears, for it would not do for him to fall apart again, because then he would not only be useless to Momo, but to himself as well and that would not help the situation. He tried again.

"Here," he told her, showing her the damp cloth in his hand, careful to keep his motions slow and small, so as to not startle her, "This is a cloth that I wetted to clean the blood off you."

Her pain-filled gaze flickered to the cloth.

Slightly encouraged that she was responding to his words, he continued, "I'm just going to clean up the mess with the cloth, alright? I know it must be very uncomfortable for you right now, so I'm just going to help you wash up, okay?"

That did not have quite the result he had hoped, for she shook her head frantically and tried to press herself further into the wall at her back. Her sudden movements must have opened up some internal wound, for blood started to seep into the sheets, and she whimpered painfully.

"We won't do that if you don't want to," he told her hurriedly, backing away from her so that she would not hurt herself further trying to get away from him. "We won't do anything you don't want to."

She kept a fearful and wary gaze on him as he retreated to the opposite wall, even as her whimpers subsided a little.

"Here's what I'm going to do," he told his tone as soft and soothing as he could make it, trying his hardest to appear as nonthreatening as possible even as the guilt tore him apart inside. "I'm going to pass you the cloth and you can use it to clean off blood. But to do that, I have to approach you. Just for a moment," he assured her hurriedly, when she visibly cringed and shrunk back, "Only to pass you the cloth and I will retreat back to where I am now, I promise."

She hesitated, clearly torn between wanting the cloth and preferring that he remained where he was. Finally, she spoke, her voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. "Just throw the cloth here."

"Alright," he agreed, tossing her the cloth and inwardly berating himself for not thinking of it first. "There is a bowl of water there for you to use." He pointed at the partially filled bowl on the floor next to the mattress.

She took the cloth and looked at him expectantly, and a flush coloured her cheeks when he looked back at her blankly. "Turn around! I can't do anything with you staring at me!"

He choked out an apology as he whipped around to face the wall, face red with embarrassment. He deliberately fixed his gaze on the whitewashed wall like it was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen, and tried his best to ignore the sounds of rusting cloth and quickly stifled gasps and whimpers of pain that came from behind him. But staring at the blank wall as he was, his uncontrolled imagination went into overdrive, and every gasp and whimper cut into him like a dull, rusty blade because it was him who caused her to hurt so.

After what seemed to be an agonizing eternity for him, she finally announced that she was done and allowed him to turn around. He did so slowly, unsure of what he would find and sighed with relief to see that she looked much better. She had used the opportunity to wash up and exchange her torn kimono for the one that he had discarded. The torn kimono lay in a bundle together with the bloodied sheets of the mattress.

She sat in the middle of the tattered mattress, dark eyes trained on him fearfully and watchfully, both hands gripping the edges of the kimono tightly together. His heart twisted as he stared at her wordlessly. She looked so weary and scared; there was an air of fragility about her that he had not seen since the fiasco with Aizen, like she would fall apart if one so much as touched her. Only this time, he was the one who had harmed her, and not that bastard Aizen.

Slowly, he lowered himself to sit on the cold tiled floor, wincing inwardly when even that small movement made her flinch and shrink back. He bowed his head in shame.

The silence stretched between them, like a giant chasm that could not be breached.

He could not speak, for he had no idea what to say to her. The apologies that hung on the edges of his tongue stayed there, for even the slightest sound from him made her start with terror. It pained him that the girl he once knew was no more, their easy camadrie gone, their bond broken, because of what had transpired between them, even if he did not remember most of it. Now, all that was left was silence and tension, with an ocean of guilt on his side and a mountain of fear on hers.

The last candle that he had lighted had burned out long before the sound of movement from her drew his attention. She lay on her side, the positioning of her body an awkward and uncomfortable one, eyes closed in an uneasy slumber, apparently having lost her fight with exhaustion.

Silently, he approached her and carefully rearranged her limbs to a more comfortable position before shrugging out of the kimono he had on and tucking it around her. He then retreated back to the opposite end of the room, where he sat for a long while, watching the gentle rise and fall of her breaths, his mind full of the events that had happened since his incarceration. Eventually he too gave in to his exhaustion and slid unwillingly into slumber.

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><p><strong>AN: **Cyber hugs to everyone who has reviewed/faved/followed thus far! I can't believe I started this story exactly one year ago, just wanting to get this one plot bunny out of my mind, and it has morphed into this lengthy fic. A big thank you to everyone who has followed "Picking Up the Pieces" since the prologue and welcome to everyone who has joined us since. The story still has a ways to go, so I hope that you guys will stick with me, even though updates can get really slow at times. :)


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

They sat in silence, hands clasped tightly, each lost in their own thoughts. At that moment, they were simply two survivors, comforting in the presence and outward strength of the other, regardless of how battered and broken they both were on the inside. The unspoken words remained, at the tips of their tongues, waiting to spill out with their next breath; the terrible history they shared hovered, like a looming shadow, at the back of their minds. But they pushed them back, desolate words and haunting memories, both unwilling to break this small moment of peace.

But these moments never seemed to last, Karin thought, as this one was broken by the sound of the front door opening. Their hands separated instantly, and they slid back in their seats, averting their gazes awkwardly.

"I'm home," Ichigo called as he came into the living room. Whatever else he may have wanted to say was lost as he caught sight of Hitsugaya and halted abruptly at the doorway. His face turned red with barely contained anger, and Karin imagined she could almost see the steam coming out from his ears.

"What is he doing here?" he growled, glaring viciously at Hitsugaya.

"That's none of your business," Karin snarked back peevishly before Hitsugaya could answer, annoyed at her brother's overreaction.

Hitsugaya glanced uncertainly at the fuming siblings as they exchanged heated glares, and cleared his throat awkwardly. They ignored him.

"I wanted to check on Kurosaki, and ask her about our time in captivity," he explained politely to Ichigo, drawing his attention once more.

"_Check on_ _Kurosaki_?" Ichigo repeated incredulously, spearing Hitsugaya with another glare, seeming more incensed by his answer. Grabbing Hitsugaya by the front of his shirt, he lifted the shorter youth to the tips of his toes, and growled into his face, "check on Karin? After what you did to her?"

"Ichigo!" Karin exclaimed in shock, latching on to his arm and tugging at it in an attempt to loosen his grip. "Stop it! Let go of him!"

"Big brother! What are you doing?" Yuzu cried in distress as she hurried out of the kitchen, drawn by the sounds of commotion.

He ignored them both, tightening his grip around the fistful of shirt. "You've got a lot of nerve showing your face here!"

Karin scowled at her brother, pulling harder at his arm, but he did not budge. It did not help that she had yet to fully recover her strength from her time in captivity. She understood his rage and helplessness at her plight, because Ichigo had always been the protector - their protector - but she had no idea as to the depth of it. She had never seen Ichigo so furious before, and it thoroughly unnerved her. Whatever happened to her during her incarceration was not something that was in his power to protect her from, she thought he had at least accepted that much.

She cast Hitsugaya a pleading glace, willing him to fight back, to defend himself from Ichigo like she knew he could, instead of remaining passively in his grip, but she knew from the look on his face, that he would not. There was a resignation in his eyes as he met Ichigo's heated glare, along of an overwhelming guilt and sorrow. He had anticipated, perhaps even wanted, this reaction and was willing to take whatever was dealt to him, because he thought he deserved it.

"Ichigo," Isshin admonished sternly as he entered and took in the scene before him, "Let go of Toshiro."

"No," Ichigo growled. "I should have done this the minute that pregnancy kit came back positive."

With that, he pulled his free arm back and hit Hitsugaya as hard as he could across the jaw.

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><p>"I'm so sorry," Karin apologized again for the umpteenth time as she dabbed at the bloody cut on Hitsugaya's upper lip.<p>

The house was quiet now, with Isshin having forcefully dragged a furiously resisting Ichigo out, and Yuzu retreating into the safe haven of her kitchen once more.

Hitsugaya sighed. "And I have already told you there is nothing you need to apologize for. Knowing your brother, I was surprised he hadn't gone to the Soul Society to kick my ass before this."

Karin frowned at him. "Dad forbade him, I think. In any case, you could have at least tried to defend yourself."

"I deserve much worse, if what Ichigo said is true," he said in a low voice.

She pretended not to have heard him, determinedly avoiding his gaze by focusing on cut she was cleaning. Silently, she cursed Ichigo's big mouth. She had hoped to avoid all mention of the pregnancy from Hitsugaya.

Unwilling to let her avoid the subject, he stilled her hands, covering them with his large callused ones, and she involuntarily flinched back, fear flashing across her face before she could hide it. He dropped his hands like he had been burned, the apology falling from his lips like an all too familiar mantra.

Karin winced inwardly. She was still skittish to the touch of others, especially after all the times she had been in the lab with the crazy scientist, but she was usually able to hide it better. Having Hitsugaya here was bringing back can of worms that she would very much rather not remember.

An uncomfortable silence fell again.

She dropped her hands to her lap, plucking at the bloodied cloth as she tried to think of something to say to break the tension she could feel building. Unfortunately, her quick wits seemed to have abandoned her at that moment. It was Hitsugaya who spoke first, having gathered his own wits about him.

"Is it true, then? Are you pregnant?" he asked her bluntly. She could hear the hint of trepidation in his voice.

She gave a reluctant nod, and, intent on getting away from this conversation for which she was not prepared, dumped the cloth she had almost plucked to threads into the basin of warm water and stood up abruptly with it. Water sloshed over the rim with her sudden movements, wetting her jersey, but she ignored it.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his tone so sad and pained that it stopped her in her tracks.

Setting the basin down with a sharp snap, she came to stand in front of him. His entire posture - the slumped shoulders, the bowed head - screamed of defeat. When she cupped the sides of his head and forced him to look her in the eye, his gaze held so much sorrow and guilt that it was nearly her undoing. Forcing back the tears that threatened to fall, she speared him with a glare.

"I've said this, and I will say it again," she told him fiercely, heated dark grey irises boring into tortured teal ones, willing her words to sink into his stubborn head, "none of this is your fault. You may have been the weapon used against me, but you are not at fault here, do you understand me? None of this is your fault."

She scowled when he began to shake his head, and opened his mouth to disagree. "No, you are not listening to me, Toshiro! Stop blaming yourself for everything. What happened during that time happened to the both of us. We both suffered for it. We both suffered for the whims of a madman. So don't you dare blame yourself for anything that happened while we were in his clutches."

He shut his mouth and swallowed painfully, and tried to lower his gaze, but Karin would not let him, pinning him with a fierce glower. "None of this is your fault, do you understand?"

He gave a reluctant nod of his snowy white head, but she could see that he was not entirely convinced. He still blamed himself for what had happened during their incarceration. Karin was hard pressed not to roll her eyes. Honestly. It was just her luck to be surrounded by the most hard-headed men in two realms.

But she sobered at the reminder of the pregnancy and the baby that she carried within her. There was still so much that she did not know about it, and she hesitated to reveal her worries, but decided that Hitsugaya had a right to know. Dropping her hands from his face, she sat down heavily beside him.

"As much as the pregnancy is a shock, what worries me more is that I don't know for certain who fathered it," she admitted softly, trying unsuccessfully to hide the confusion and agony she was feeling.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened in surprise. "What do you mean? Who else could it be? Were you raped by anyone else, Karin?"

The fiercely protective tone of his voice caught her by surprise. "No," she said uncertainly, "but I don't know what happened to me during the times I was unconscious, especially when the Crazy Scientist had me in the lab."

Gently, he took her hand in his, and she let him, taking comfort from his warm, sure grip. "We will find whoever is responsible for this, Karin, I promise you."

He sounded so sure, and so determined that for a moment, she was almost reassured. But she knew that the mastermind would not be so easily found, if he or she had managed to keep their identity hidden for so long. She suspected Hitsugaya knew the same, but was so set on unmasking the mastermind that he would find a way to keep this promise eventually.

She tightened her fingers around his and nodded noncommittally.

"Are you going to keep the baby, then?" Toshiro wondered, putting the subject of the identity of the mastermind aside for now.

"Yes," Karin replied, watching as his thumb began tracing invisible circles on the palm of her hand, a seemingly unconscious motion that she was sure he was unaware of . "It is an innocent, and I can't bring myself to go through an abortion, not after everything that happened."

"I know that it is unreasonable to ask of you, but," - there was a hint of a plea in Hitsugaya's eyes as he caught her gaze again - "will you let me be there for you and the baby?"

Karin hesitated. Despite everything Hitsugaya has said, somewhere at the back of her mind, it occurred to her that it might not be the best idea to have him around, especially when she was trying so desperately to bury the memories and nightmares twelve feet under. He was a walking reminder of everything she wanted to forget.

He seemed to sense her hesitation, because he hastened to add, "I may not even be around all that often, because of my responsibilities in the Soul Society, but I hope you will let me be here when I can."

She did not know what she was searching for as she looked into his hopeful eyes, but she knew that they both needed to heal, and perhaps it would be better for them to do it together, rather than apart. They were the only ones who could even begin to understand what the other is going through, for they had been the ones who had gone through that hell and lived to tell the tale.

Against her better judgement, she nodded. "Alright."

She could see the relief in Hitsugaya's eyes, and in that moment, she hoped that perhaps she had made the right decision. That together, they would heal from the nightmare that they had been rescued from.

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><p><strong>AN:** Is any one still reading this?I am really really really sorry it took me literally months to get this chapter out. Writers block is not a valid excuse, but it is the only one I can offer you. I'm not really happy with this chapter, but it is the only one that, out of dozens of drafts, is at least halfway decent. I edited it the best I could, and hope that you guys will enjoy it all the same.

And a big thank you to everyone to reviewed the last chapter, and followed/favourited! You have no idea how much that kept me going while I struggled with the writing of this chapter. :)


	17. Chapter 16

****Disclaimer: ****Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

**A/N: **This chapter is dedicated to the lovely **Adobo-chan**, who helped revive my HitsuKarin muse and kick my butt in gear so that this chapter could be posted. Thank you so much!

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

_Six months ago_

_A heavy weight was pressing down on her, an oppressing mass surrounding her, stifling her._

_She was shrouded in darkness; she could not see anything._

Open your eyes, just open your eyes, damn it!

_She couldn't, couldn't open her eyelids no matter how hard she tried._

_Fear gripped her heart, and she started to fight, punching, kicking, striking out indiscriminately at the unknown weight. It was suffocating her. She could not breathe._

Open your eyes! Please!

_Was someone calling her, or was it a voice in her head? She did not know, and she did not care as she fought even harder, trying desperately to pry her eyelids open. But they refused to budge._

_She wanted to scream, but no sound escaped when she opened her mouth. There was silence. Only silence and the frantic beating of her heart._

Please.

_Then there was pain, so much pain, like a dull, rusty knife stabbing into her, and she was sobbing, muted, agonized sobs because there was no sound, and so much pain._

_She twisted, and fought harder, but no matter how hard she fought, she could not escape the pain, could not open her eyes._

Open your eyes. Wake up!

_Yes, yes. She had to wake up. Open her eyes and wake up and escape this horrifying nightmare._

Open your eyes!

She rose from the mattress with strangled scream, limbs flailing wildly as she fought her way free of the kimono that served as a blanket. It took her mere seconds to register her surroundings - the whitewashed walls, the dim candle-lit space, the uncomfortable mattress on the floor - and Toshiro. He was only inches away from her, his teal eyes full of guilt and concern, but it did not matter to her, for she gasped in fear, striking him hard across the face as she scrambled away from him until her back hit the wall. The nightmare was too fresh in her mind and already she could see him over her, on her and inside her, pressing her down and hurting her while she was too paralyzed to stop him.

Her ragged pants seemed unusually loud in the silence, each breath faster, harsher than the next. She could feel herself starting to hyperventilate, and immediately tried to regulate her breathing by taking deep, slow breaths. She could not afford to break down, not now, not in here. She needed to keep a clear head if she was going to both protect herself and figure out a way to escape this prison.

All the while, she kept an eye on Toshiro, who had visibly flinched at her response, and automatically retreated to the other side of the room, not wanting her to hurt herself even further trying to fight him. He watched her intently as she attempted to compose herself.

Finally, when it seemed as though she had calmed, he spoke, his voice soft and husky, "I'm sorry for scaring you. I was just trying to wake you. You were having a nightmare."

She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him; she had figured out as much once she had gathered her wits about her.

"Are you alright?" he persisted when she didn't answer him, and she huffed in annoyance, spearing him with a sharp glare at what she assumed was a rhetorical question. She had been incarcerated by a madman, raped by someone whom she thought of as a friend and now seemed to be having a slight mental breakdown. Of course she was not alright.

It seemed he got the memo, for he whispered an apology, lowering his gaze to the floor, unable to meet her glare. There was something so broken about him, slumped on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest, that she wanted to put her arms around him and comfort him. But the memories of what he had done to her stopped her short, and she remained where she was.

He took a deep shuddering breath, and she could hear the tears in his cracked, raspy voice even though he did not look up, as he stumbled through yet another apology.

She cut him short, unwilling to hear more of the same. She only wanted an answer to his actions. An answer he had yet to give her. So she asked again.

"Why."

He shook his head, and kept his eyes trained on the floor, unwilling to meet her gaze.

Anger stirred inside her at his reticence, and her tone was like a whip when she spoke again, determined to have the answers to her questions. "Look at me and answer the question, Toshiro."

The forceful command had Toshiro's head snapping up, and she could see the pain and sorrow behind the startled and slightly bewildered look he gave her as he met her even gaze. Deliberately, she softened her tone, trying to coax an answer out of him.

"Why did you do it, Toshiro? Why did you rape me?"

He flinched, a look of pure agony on his face, and his eyes darted away to the floor again. She grunted in frustration. She wanted to yell at him, to demand that he respond, but she knew, logically, that doing so would not yield her any answers. Not in the state he was in, all but consumed with guilt, and not when she was still too wary of what he is capable of doing to provoke him.

"I don't know."

His voice was nothing more than a whisper, but his confession rang clearly in the quiet cell. Fighting down her impatience, she waited for him to elaborate, understanding him well enough from their previous interactions to know that he would explain himself in his own time, if at all.

"I don't have any memory of the act, of what I did to you," he swallowed bitterly, unable to name the violence he had done, and a flash of self-loathing crossed his features, "all I remember is passing out, a blank where my memory should be and then waking up with you. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together."

She frowned, taken aback at his revelation. Instead of getting the answers she had expected, she had only ended up with even more questions. If he was unaware of his actions like he said, then who or what was controlling him? And why him? Why her? Did the crazy asshole who has incarcerated the both of them derive some sick pleasure from what Toshiro had done to her, unknowingly or not?

Mistaking her silence for disbelief, Toshiro finally looked up and caught her gaze once more, and the anguish in his eyes had her biting back an automatic reassurance. _No sympathy for the devil_, she scolded herself, former friend or not. He still had the power to hurt her, as he had proved before. For all her hollow fighting training, she was no match against a warrior who had been fighting since even before she was born.

"Please, Momo," he pleaded, "Please believe me. You know I was never hurt you. You are everything to me."

Her jaw dropped open in shock, and she shook her head, certain that she had misheard, but she could not help the sliver of unease that crept up within her.

She was still her the last time she checked, and she had not changed so much over the years that she would be unrecognizable to him. The flickering candle provided enough light for her to see his curled up figure clearly; he should be able to do with same with her. It did not make any sort of sense for him to confuse her with someone else. Her eyes narrowed in scrutiny, finally registering the unusual dilation of his pupils and the slightly glazed look of his eyes, the way he was not really looking at her, but though her. He was not seeing her at all.

And just like that, her world was turned upside down once again.

Who was he seeing? What was he seeing? And most importantly, who the hell was Momo and what does she mean to him?

Shaken, and even more wary, she eyed him carefully, unknowingly tilting her body forward, leaning closer in his direction. She prayed fervently that it was a trick of the light, a misspoken name on his part, but her hopes were dashed when he all but begged her again, desperation ringing in his voice as he pleaded with the girl who was not her.

"I'm Karin," she said loudly, and cringed a little at the note fear and uncertainty in her quavering voice. She shook her head, as if to clear it, then repeated herself, more forcefully this time, "I'm not this Momo person. I'm Karin Kurosaki!"

He did not appear to have heard her declaration, his imploring gaze focused on her , and dread pooled at the bottom of her stomach as she looked back into hazed teal eyes. If he was not aware of her, was seeing someone in her place, how can she be sure that it is really Toshiro that she is seeing? She did not know what that insane scientist had done to her while she had been unconscious in his lab after all. And if that was so, how did she know what was real and what was not? If Toshiro was any indication, she did not.

It hit her that everything that she thought she had seen and felt and heard and _experienced_ since her capture may not even be real.

If she were not already sitting down, she was sure she would have collasped on the floor. Quickly, she squashed down the panic that rose within her; this was no time to be losing her head. She needed to figure out an escape, and fast. She could not afford to have another violent encounter with Toshiro, regardless of whether he was being manipulated or not. There was no telling if the violence he had inflicted on her thus far would escalate and she was not interested in finding out the answer to that.

She registered distantly that Toshiro was calling for her attention, albeit by the foreign name, and shook herself out of her stupor. She needed his help if they were to get out of their prison. He was faster, and stronger, than her, as much as she hated to admit it, and she had been severely weakened by her rapes and a lack of nutrition. Furthermore, something was sapping her of her reiatsu, making it impossible for her to use any form of kido or shunpo. As much as she hated the idea of getting any kind of help from him after what he had done to her, she had to grudgingly admit that it would be near impossible to attempt any kind of escape without him.

"I believe you," she told him softly, snapping him out of the despondent silence he had fallen into, "and I need your help if we are going to break out of this place."

Relief washed over his features, but she gnawed at her bottom lip nervously, uncertain if it was because he had actually heard what she had said, or because the illusion he was seeing had uttered forgiveness. The thanks he breathed out so reverently only confused her further, but the fierce determination in his eyes gave her a glimmer of hope and she grasped at his vow like it was a lifeline.

"I will do everything in my power to get you out of this hellhole. I promise."

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><p><strong>AN:** As always, a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed/favourited. It really means a lot. School/work and a writer's block means that I'm not getting out these chapters as fast as I would like, so thanks to everyone who has stuck around for this. :)


	18. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I am just playing in his sandbox.

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><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

He had just stepped foot into the Soul Society when a member of the _reiteitai _appeared before him and presented him with summons from Central 46. He almost scowled at the courier when he remained kneeling, with the clear implication that he was to be escorted to the Central 46 Compound, but caught himself in time. This was not the time to reveal his disdain for the ruling authority of the Soul Society, not when he was still under their watchful surveillance. Instead, he handed the paper slip back to the courier and indicated his assent before slipping into a _shunpo._

The council members of Central 46 were awaiting him when he strode into the Underground Assembly Hall, projecting a calm and confidence that belied his inner turmoil.

How much could he reveal to the Council without them taking any drastic actions, especially with the bomb that Karin had dropped him? He needed to protect her, especially with the enemy still unknown, and from his experiences with Central 46, if they were to learn of Karin's condition, it was akin to throwing her to the wolves. Yet, he knew the dangers of keeping a secret as important as this from Central 46. They have a way of finding out things, and should they learn of his deception, the punishment would be most severe.

All these thoughts churned inside his mind as he stood under the spotlight once again, in the middle of the Underground Assembly Hall, the stark silence of the council members adding to his unease. Steeling himself, he looked up at the sea of hidden faces, and waited for them to speak.

He did not have to wait long.

"Captain Hitsugaya," a gravelly voice intoned, "We have summoned you here today to be apprised of whatever information you have learnt of your disappearance from the Kurosaki girl."

Hitsugaya scowled inwardly. Although he had expected this, he had hoped that Central 46 would at least allow him some time to process the information he had gathered before summoning him. It seemed that they had decided against waiting, no doubt hoping to catch him unawares and vulnerable, and therefore more likely to reveal information that he would have preferred to him to himself. If that was their assumption, they were about to be disappointed.

Omittance of details is better than revealing the entire truth, he decided.

"I'm afraid Kurosaki is as unsure of the events as I am," he answered, pleased when his voice came out calm and even. "We were separated for long periods of time and the darkness of the cell we were kept in when we were together did nothing to aid us in figuring out exactly how much time had passed."

"What _do_ you know?" the same voice asked, the hint of displeasure clear even over the soft murmurs of the rest of the council members.

"We concluded that I had been drugged with some kind of sophisticated hallucinogen during my incarceration," Toshiro replied, keeping his expression carefully neutral, "what exactly, we do not know, because we have never heard of any drug of the kind before, not in the Soul Society, and not in the World of the Living, but we have concluded that it was mixed in with the food I was given and ingested orally."

There was a moment of silence as Central 46 contemplated this new information, then the chamber broke out in shocked whispers, appalled at the implication that there was a new and powerful drug that could possibly influence the perceptions of even a _shinigami_ of Captain calibre.

A loud bang of a gravel, and the whispers subsided to hushed murmurs. Then another voice spoke, an older lady, if her voice was any indication. "And the Kurosaki girl? She was not drugged with hallucinogen too?"

"We are not sure," Hitsugaya admitted, "but it seems extremely unlikely, because her memories of the time appear to be more accurate than mine."

"And why is that so?"

He hesitated, unwilling to confess to such a personal memory to Central 46, but his indecision must have shown on his face, for the sharp command that came left no room for reservation. "Do not withhold any information that you may possess from us, _Captain_, or the consequences will be severe."

The emphasis on his rank was a none too subtle reminder that his place in the Gotei 13 still hung in the balance, and that he could very well be stripped of his rank and everything he had worked for at the whim of this council. He held back a glare, trying to keep the resentment from his voice as he replied through gritted teeth. "She knew it was I who was in the cell with her; I had been tricked into thinking the person who was with me was someone else."

"And who was that?" The voice snapped impatiently.

"Lieutenant Momo Hinamori." His jaw worked as he fought to keep calm. Already he could feel the tight reins of his control slipping; the air around his clenched fists frosted, and he forced back his frustration and anger, uncurling his fingers and willing the ice away.

A serene voice spoke, the hint of steel under the pleasant tones reminding Hitsugaya of the formidable Captain Unohana. "I assume that the relationship you share with Lieutenant Hinamori is the reason she was the one you saw while you were under the influence of the hallucinogen."

He inclined his head stiffly in acknowledgement. "I would assume so."

"Very well."

The council continued to speak in hushed tones amongst themselves, then silence fell, and the same voice spoke once more.

"Some members of this council feel that you should be appraised of the status of the investigation that in currently underway with regards to your incarceration. However," she continued, voice cutting across the eruption of protests she had roused with the statement, "in exchange, we request that you provide us with any and all information that you have or may learn."

Teal eyes widened in surprise. This was unexpected and certainly unprecedented for Central 46. Generally, they preferred to be the ones being given the information and passing the judgments, not using the information that they have as a barter for more information. But then again, this was a new council, handling a case that had yet to have all its facts uncovered but already posing a threat to the well-being of the Soul Society.

"I accept those terms," he agreed, ignoring the unease he felt about withholding the information about Karin's pregnancy from the Council. He would inform them when he was certain that both Karin and the baby could be protected from the threat that was the mastermind behind their incarceration, and with so much still unknown, that time was not now. He could not take the risk of any harm coming to either of them.

"Very well."

There was a pause, and a flurry of hissed words, then another voice spoke, the low baritone of a male, "You, along with one Karin Kurosaki, were freed from the previously hidden pocket dimension in the dangai dimension. However, you were the only ones the rescue team was able to find alive. There were others found in various other cells, both human and spirits, all dead and suspended in stasis, and, in some cases, in various states of being dissected."

"Captain Kurotsuchi has, even with the aid of former Twelveth Captain Kisuke Urahara and the entire Twelveth Division, thus far been unable to fully decipher all the codes of the encrypted programs found on the computers that we have retrieved from the fully furnished laboratory of the pocket dimension that you were rescued from. As such, we are still unable to determine the types and purposes of experimentation that were being performed on the deceased subjects."

Hitsugaya nodded slowly, his expression not giving away any of the astonishment he felt at the revelation that Karin and he were not the only ones who had been kidnapped and incarcerated, but that they were the only ones who had survived. That was something that Urahara had not told him, nor had Matsumoto managed to find out. But he already knew about the trouble the Twelfth Division and Urahara was having in cracking the codes to retrieve the information from the computers, it was the reason Central 46 was so eager to have what information he could provide them with. Why were they telling him that?

As it turned out, he did not have to wonder long at all.

Another voice spoke, a higher pitched female, taking up the narrative. "Former Captain Urahara has approached us with information that the culprit for these heinous crimes might be within the Gotei 13 itself. Someone, or several someones, have been subtly interfering with, and sabotaging, the investigation. He had noticed some manipulation of the encryption codes and discrepancies of the system logs, but have as yet, been unable to determine the culprit, except to ascertain that these changes and data have been coming from inside the Twelfth Division.

"We have authorised Former Captain Urahara to proceed with the investigation to trace the origin and culprit perpetuating these changes and hindering our investigation, but we would need to stay one step ahead by uncovering the identity and intentions of these criminals. With the additional information you have provided the council today, it is clear that the mastermind behind this is a greater threat than we had perceived, and he or she must be unmasked and apprehended immediately. As such, we would require you, Captain Hitsugaya, to come forth with any and all information you may or will have regarding the circumstances and details of your capture and incarceration. Do we understand each other?"

Hitsugaya gave a sharp nod of acknowledgement. "Yes, I understand."

There was a beat of silence, and Hitsugaya could feel the eyes of the council on him, scrutinizing him and his words. He held himself still and straight, looking straight ahead, carefully masking his tumultuous thoughts, and waited for Central 46 to challenge his words.

Finally, there was a loud bang of the gravel. "Very well, Captain. If you have nothing else to add, your zanpakto will be returned to your custody outside these chambers. You are dismissed."

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><p><strong>AN: **A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed/favourited/followed this story. I know my updates have been really slow, but I'm trying my best, so please bear with me. :)


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